


Hodnes Laik Kwelnes

by AllysonDark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllysonDark/pseuds/AllysonDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Lexa's biggest secret is exposed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> There is a nonconsensual scene in this chapter, it doesn't go into too much detail, but if you are triggered by noncon material, please take precaution with this story. I will be mentioning the scene in other chapters but I will be sure to flag those chapters for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a nonconsensual scene in this chapter, it doesn't go into too much detail, but if you are triggered by noncon material, please take precaution with this story. I will be mentioning the scene in other chapters but I will be sure to flag those chapters for everyone.

The sun hangs low in the sky, casting amber rays on the two figures in the courtyard, the dull thuds of their staffs echoing against the concrete. “ _Kom ona, Falix_.” The girl chuckles, landing a blow to the boy’s thigh. “ _Gonplei_.” She grins, her emerald eyes seeming to glow in the light of the setting sun.

Falix growled softly, lunging forward to attack, only to have his feet swept out from under him, ending with him, face down in the dirt. “ _Leksa, yu win au_.” He let out a defeated sigh as he rolled over to glare at his opponent.

Lexa grinned down at him, standing proudly over her latest victory. “I am glad that you can admit defeat, most of the other nightbloods are too prideful.” She said, offering him a hand.

He was quiet for a moment, before gripping Lexa’s hand tightly, pulling her down on top of him. “Perhaps my pride is quieted by your beauty.” Falix smirked, his dark eyes gleaming in the last light of day.

Lexa scowled slightly, pushing away from the boy. “Falix, you know I do not feel for you like that.” She explained, standing over him once more. “And aside from that, I am committed to Costia.” She finished, turning on her heel to head back toward the tower.

Falix ground his teeth together as he shoved himself from the ground, stalking after Lexa. “Why do you feel for her and not for me? She is but a servant girl and I could very well be Heda one day.” He growled, moving in front of her.

Emerald eyes flashed dangerously as Lexa stood her ground, hands wrapped into fists. “We have been over this, time and time again, Falix.” She huffed, clenching her jaw. “I feel no more for you than comradery, you are my fellow nightblood, competition for the throne and that alone makes it difficult to see you as anything other than a brother.”

“Lexa, we have trained together, ate together, we have all but lived together for years.” Falix pressed on, his brow furrowing. “What does that servant girl have, that I do not?”

It was Lexa’s turn to growl, the sound started low in her chest, ripping passed her lips. “She has manners, respect for my personal space, she sees me as more than just a possible heir.” Lexa paused, her chest heaving. “She listens to me and does not push me once I have made a decision, something you cannot seem to grasp!”

Falix’s eyes narrowed, the usual chestnut irises, all but black without the sun’s light. “I will have you.” He said lowly, his tone sending a chill down Lexa’s spine.

The girl straightened her back, looking him dead in the eye. “Never.”

The blow came before she could dodge it, his fist colliding with the side of her head with a sickening thud. She lashed out with blurred vision, connecting with his clavicle with a satisfying crunch. He grunted lowly, but seemed to pay no mind to his injury as he moved forward, using his weight to his advantage.

Once she was on the ground, he started his assault, another blow to the head, a few to her face and chest. He pinned her hands under his knees, adjusting so his weight all but crushed them. “Ain” He growled, his face inches from her own.

Lexa tried to throw him off, ignoring the pain that throbbed through her head, the blood that dripped from her busted lip. “Nowe.” She growled, spitting blood into his face.

The last thing she sees is him hunched over her, teeth bared, before he slams her head into the concrete and everything goes dark.

When she wakes up, the stars are shining against an inky sky, the courtyard is black as pitch. Pain is the first thing that registers in her foggy head, it seeps into her bones, a few of which she is sure are broken. She sits up slowly, gritting her teeth against the sharp pain that shoots from her side, adding ribs to the list of broken bones.

She takes slow, shallow breaths as she sits up straight, pausing a moment before doing an inspection. Her shirt is torn to shreds and there is dried blood on a large portion of her skin. It isn’t until she stands up, that she realizes her pants have been torn from thigh to thigh, that there is a dull ache between her legs..that she’s been hurt  far beyond the pain of broken bones.

Her first instinct is to hide in shame, but another, more primal instinct flares to life in her chest. “ _Jus drein jus daun_.” She growls, burying everything she feels under hatred as she moves forward, determined to show the commander the state of her most favored nightblood.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur, Heda is furious, first by being woken in the middle of the night and then her fury grows at the sight of Lexa. A healer is called, guards sent to find Falix and Lexa is sat in the commanders chambers, being tended to. After she is cleaned up and the healer gives her a soothing draught, Heda then sends for Costia, knowing that the nightblood will need emotional support.

They meet in the courtroom the next morning, Lexa holding Costia’s hand almost painfully tight when they drag Falix in. She isn’t sure it’s fear she feels, or anger, or perhaps just all the pain building up, but it sits in her chest like a rock and she has to fight to slow her breathing when her ribs protest.

The commander is silent at first, before she explains that in defiling his fellow nightblood, Falix may as well have attacked the commander and therefore he must die. She declares he will die by a thousand cuts and that Lexa will have the honor of ending his life.

Lexa knows she should feel some sort of relief, but all she feels is anger and sadness and pain. She doesn’t know if she’ll be strong enough to end his life, because she knows she wants him to suffer like she would for the rest of her life.

His screams echo through the city by midday and by the time Lexa is to finish it, the sun begins its slow descent. She stands in front of him, teeth clenched, sword gripped tightly in her hands as she stares at his blood soaked body.

Somehow, through all of the pain and the blood, Falix still managed to laugh, his teeth stark white against the crimson staining his face. “ _Ai don tel yu op_.” He smirked, “ _Ai goda yu in_.”

Lexa beat back the cringe that threatened to manifest at his words, before bringing the sword to his chest, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.  “ _Nowe_.” She growled, driving the blade into his heart, the sickening light from his last smile still burning in his dark eyes.

Hours later, when the sun had set and she was alone in her quarters, she allowed herself to feel everything. The pain, both physical and emotional. She sobbed into her pillow, her ribs screaming in protest, she cried until she couldn’t, until she was numb.

She lived her life like she would have before the incident only she was quieter, more reserved. She cut off all of her emotions when she was among her peers, but when she was alone, or with Costia, she allowed herself to become human once more.

A month and a half goes by when Lexa awakes from a fitful sleep, with a sour stomach and a foggy head. She manages to get to her sink, depositing bile into the ceramic basin, pain surging through her head. Costia sends for a healer, fearing Lexa may have contracted a sickness, only to have worse news given to them.

“Pregnant?” Lexa murmurs, her lips numb as she stares at the healer, her throat tightening up at the thought.

Costia is quiet for a moment, laying her hand on Lexa’s shoulder gently. “It will be alright.” She says softly, combing her fingers through Lexa’s dark hair.

The healer leaves to alert the commander and within an hour they are all sat in the courtroom, watching Heda pace. “No one must know about this, you are the most likely to succeed me, others may try to use your child as pawn.”

Lexa flinches slightly, her eyes turning toward the ground. “And what if I do not want the child?” She asks softly, her voice cracking.

“I understand why you would not want to keep the child, however, children are our future. Should you decide after birth that you do not wish to raise the child, we can send them to another family, but we need our youth, I am sorry.” Heda replies, her tone firm, though there is a soft sadness in her eyes.

Costia opens her mouth to argue, but Lexa stops her, burying her feelings with her duty. “I understand, Heda.” She says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “How do we keep this a secret, if I am in the public’s eye as a nightblood?”

“Do not worry about that, you have far more pressing matters to attend to, your conclave is approaching quickly.” The commander reminds her, the statement more of a dismissal than a reminder.

“Yes, Heda” Lexa murmurs, bowing her head to the leader, before heading out of the room, Costia on her heels.

Another six weeks go by and after being named the next in line for the throne, Lexa is sent to a hut in the middle of the woods to ‘train’. She is met by a familiar face when she reaches the dwelling, Anya rushing toward her, concern etched into every feature.

“Anya.” Lexa smiles, sliding from her horse to wrap her arms around her mentor. “I’ve missed you.” She murmurs into the woman’s shoulder, holding her tight.

“And I you.” Anya replies, smiling warmly at her friend. “Heda told us everything, sister.” She says after they pull apart.

“Us?” Lexa frowns, her brow furrowing at the word. “I thought it was just going to be you and I, Heda wouldn’t even allow Costia to accompany me.”

Anya’s head tilts to the side, her eyes narrowing for a moment before she sighs. “No, there are a few people here along with myself.” She murmurs, nodding toward the hut. “Titus, the commander’s advisor, Indra, the leader of TonDc, Gustus, he is one of Indra’s best warriors and Firat, a healer.”

Lexa’s jaw clenched, before she took a soothing breath, allowing herself to relax. “Alright.” She said finally, looking at her mentor with a forced smile. “What’s next?”

The next five months are filled with training, reading, learning..growing. Lexa matures into a brilliant heir and comes to find joy in the child that grows along with her. She works passed the anger and the hatred and finds peace in the nights she reads to her unborn child, in the moments they kick when Anya is around.

When her water breaks too soon, she is scared, but the healer assures her that the baby is okay. Within hours, she lay exhausted with her daughter in her arms, two pairs of emerald eyes lock and in that moment, Lexa knows she’ll never be able to let go of the wonderful child in her arms.

“Seraph.” Lexa murmurs, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead, remembering the book she read to the growing child every night.

“It fits.” Anya smiles, moving to sit next to the new mother. “A child of yours will be as pure as any angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever want to get in touch with me, to ask questions about the fic or anything like that you can find me at allysondark on tumblr


	2. Chapter 2

 

Lexa stands quietly, her gaze settled on the forest surrounding the city. It isn’t until she hears her door open, that she turns around. “Clarke.” She murmurs, stepping away from the window. “Thank you for coming.”

Clarke shifts her weight nervously, shrugging her shoulders. “Well, when the commander calls, I can’t very well say no.” She says, biting her lip.

Lexa frowns slightly, her brow furrowing as she steps closer to the blonde. “You can _always_ say no.” She stresses, before shaking her head. “I called you here, because there is something I’ve been meaning to show you for a while now.”

“And what exactly is that?” Clarke asks, her brow rises as she looks up at the commander. “What other secrets could you be hiding?”

Lexa snorts softly, a small smile curving her lips. “You’d be surprised how much you don’t know.” She replies. “However, this is something I trust very few with.”

“And you trust me?” Clarke asks, her stomach fluttering with something she doesn’t quite understand.

“If everything I have done in these last few weeks does not prove my trust, I am unsure of what will.” Lexa answers, letting out a soft sigh. Her heart clenches painfully as she realized that perhaps, even after everything, Clarke still didn’t trust her in return.

Clarke is quiet for a moment, stepping further into Lexa’s space. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I just..it’s hard to believe anyone could trust me, I mean..I’ve gotten so many people killed..” She murmurs, her gaze falling to the floor as Bellamy’s words echo in her mind.

Lexa frowns slightly, slipping a finger under Clarke’s chin, forcing the blonde to look at her. “Clarke, you were doing what you needed to do, you saved your people from a fate far worse than death.” She replies, her eyes soft. “I trust you more than most, there are very few who know more than you, but even so, I would gladly put my life in your hands.”

Clarke’s lip trembles slightly at the sincerity burning in Lexa’s eyes, the way the commander’s voice seemed to soften. “I trust you too…” She whispers finally, not trusting her own voice.

A faint smile ghosts across Lexa’s lips as she leaned in, their lips a fraction apart when there came a knock on the door. Disappointment flashed in Lexa’s eyes as she pulled away, but only enough for it to be deemed appropriate. “You may enter.” She says coolly as she fought the urge to grind her teeth.

Titus pushes through the doors, striding into the courtroom with intent. “Heda.” He greets Lexa, his eyes flickering over to Clarke before adding in a reluctant. “Wanheda.”

Lexa nods to her advisor. “What do you need, Titus.” She asks, irritation evident in her voice.

“I would like to request a private conversation, Heda.” He replies, his gaze settling on the small space between the two women.

Lexa looked as if she would object, but before she can open her mouth, Clarke speaks up. “It’s okay, I have a few things I need to do.” She offers a slightly forced smile as she heads toward the door. “Just come and get me when you’re ready to show me..whatever it is you want to show me.” She chuckles before exiting the room.

Titus waits until the doors were firmly shut and even a few moments after before speaking. “I have sent word to the twelve clans as you had asked.” He says, looking up at the commander.

“And this news was worth interrupting my conversation with Clarke?” Lexa asks, her brow rising toward her hair line. “Or perhaps you overheard part of our private conversation and decided to interrupt.”

Titus sighs, shaking his head slightly. “I merely wish to remind you of what your duties are and who we are trying to protect.” He retorts, his jaw clenching slightly.

Lexa growls lowly, the sound starting somewhere low in her chest before ripping passed her lips. “You dare question my decisions?” She accuses, her eyes flashing dangerously. “I know exactly what my duties are and don’t you dare try to tell me that I am not doing my best to protect those who need it.” Her teeth grind then as she bites back her rage.

Titus narrows his eyes at the commander. “I am simply doing my job as your advisor.” He replies shortly, clenching his jaw.

“I will take your advice under consideration.” Lexa says before stalking toward the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend to.”

Titus watches her leave before letting out a frustrated sigh, following after her, being sure that neither woman sees him.

They have been riding for about an hour before Clarke speaks up, her chin resting on Lexa’s shoulder. “When you told me you had something to show me, I wasn’t expecting it to be in the woods.” She smirks, a slight blush on her cheeks.

Lexa chuckles softly, her lips curving upward. “And what exactly were you expecting?” She asks, turning her head in an attempt to catch Clarke’s eye.

Clarke shook her head, hiding her face against Lexa’s shoulder. “Nothing, nothing, just didn’t expect to be dragged out into the middle of the woods.” She giggles nervously, her cheeks burning.

It’s Lexa’s turn to smirk, but she keeps her thoughts to herself as they near the clearing. Her eyes zone in on the spot she had been coming to for the last six years. “We’re almost there.” She murmurs, pointing ahead.

Clarke has to narrow her eyes, but she sees it, a small hut with grey stone walls and a thick thatched roof. “Oh, what’s there?” She asks, placing her chin on Lexa’s shoulder once more.

“You’ll see.” Lexa says softly, forcing a small smile onto her lips. Her stomach was in knots now that they were so close to her greatest secret. What if she was mistaken, what if Clarke couldn’t keep the secret, what if she decided that it wasn’t worth the effort? What if she left..?

Lexa’s thoughts however were replaced with others as a small voice called out, the door to the dwelling slamming open. “ _Nomon!”_ The child ran toward them as Lexa brought the horse to a halt.

“ _Heya, yongon_.” Lexa murmured as she slid from her mount, kneeling in front of the little girl who could have been a carbon copy of the commander. “How are you, my love?” She asks as the girl wraps her arms around the brunette tightly.

“I’m well.” She grins, nuzzling Lexa’s shoulder. “Who is that?” She asks as she looks up at Clarke, her head tilted slightly.

“Seraph, this is Clarke.” Lexa replies, looking up at the blonde with hopeful eyes. “Clarke, this is Seraph, my daughter.” She explains, biting the inside of her cheek.

Clarke was quiet as she dismounted the horse, kneeling down to look into Seraph’s eyes that were so eerily like Lexa’s. “It’s nice to meet you, Seraph.” She says softly, offering the child a smile.

Seraph’s eyes widen as she take’s in Clarke’s appearance. “Clarke? Like _the_ Sky Princess, Clarke?” She asks excitedly, nearly vibrating with happiness as she throws her arms around the blonde. “Mother tells me stories about you all the time!”

Clarke hugs the girl back, shooting Lexa a questioning look, only to receive a shrug in response. “Does she really?” She asks as Seraph pulls away.

“Yes, she even told me about how you slayed the mountain and rescued us all from the monsters that lived there.” Seraph explains as she takes Clarke’s hand in her own, tugging on it. “Come on, come on, I’ll show you the drawings mother made to go with the story.”

Clarke stands up straight, allowing the girl to tug her toward the home, a slight frown on her lips. She didn’t like to think of her actions in the mountain, let alone having them being treated like they were noble things to do.

Lexa followed after them once she had tied the horse up, determined to make sure things would go smoothly. Once she opened the door, she could hear Seraph chattering away in her room. “You may want to go in there, your friend may not survive once the little one gets going.” A gravelly voice chuckled.

Lexa turned her head toward the man, a soft smile on her head. “I suppose you’re right, Firat, but I’m just happy that Seraph seems to like her.” She replies before heading toward the child’s room.

“And then the great sky ship crashed into the ground!” Seraph grinned, showing Clarke a sketch of the drop ship that had brought the sky people to the earth.

“Seraph, I hope you haven’t been talking Clarke’s ear off.” Lexa chuckled, leaning against the door frame.

Seraph glanced over at Clarke before smiling sheepishly. “She was just telling me the story of the sky princess, so far it’s pretty good.” The blonde smirked, reaching over to ruffle the child’s hair.

The girl grinned, looking up at her mother with the twinkle in her eye only reserved for moments where she was excited. “Yeah, mother, I was just telling her the story.” Seraph says, flashing wide eyes at the commander.

Lexa resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the pair and moved to sit on the floor next to them instead. “Well, if there’s a story being told, I’m all ears.” She smiles, as seraph goes through the sketches, handing one to Clarke before she crawled into Lexa’s lap.

“And then the great sky ship crashed into the ground and Skaikru made their way to a new world.” Seraph told the story with such amazement and wonder that despite living the experience, Clarke found herself seeing it from a whole new perspective.

“How many times has your mother told you that story?” Clarke asks as she starts to remove the braids from the child’s dark hair.

“She tells it to me every time she visits and it gets longer and more romantic with every telling.” Seraph smiles, glancing up at Lexa, who was picking out a nightshirt for her.

Clarke smiles softly, running her fingers through Seraph’s hair. “There, all ready for bed.” She declares, before tickling the child’s sides.

The girl squeals, flailing her arms. “M-mother!” She manages through giggles.

Lexa grins at them before coming over to scoop the child up. “Time for bed.” She says softly, watching Clarke straighten up.

“Can Clarke tuck me in?” Seraph asks when Lexa plops her on the bed, helping her change into her night shirt. “Please?”

Lexa tilts her head to the side, a soft warmth spreading in her chest. “I think you need to ask Clarke, don’t you?”

Seraph turned her wide eyes toward the blonde, her lip jutting out slightly. “Clarke, will you tuck me in?” She asks softly, her eyes getting impossibly wider.

Clarke smiles, glancing over at Lexa, who nodded slightly. “Alright, I suppose so.” She chuckles lowly as Seraph grins up at her.

The blonde waits for the child to settle down, before pulling the blanket up. “There we go, snug as a bug in a rug.” She murmurs, snorting slightly at the confused look on the girl’s face. “It’s just an expression.”

“Thank you for coming to visit.” Seraph says softly. “It’s really nice to see mother smile so much.” She whispers, though both of them knew Lexa had heard.

“I should thank you, I had a wonderful time.” Clarke replies and before she can second guess it, she leans down and hugs the child. “Now, you try and get some sleep, I’ll come and visit with her next time, okay?”

The girl grins and nods her head vigorously, hugging Clarke back. “Okay, goodnight Clarke.”

Clarke murmurs a goodnight in return and offers a smile at Lexa before moving to the door. “I’m going to go and get the horse ready.” She says, exiting the room.

Lexa watches her go, before sitting on the edge of Seraph’s bed. “Did you have fun today?” She asks, readjusting the blanket to keep her hands busy.

“Of course I did, I always do when you visit.” Seraph replies, with a sleepy smile. “Thank you for bringing Clarke.”

Lexa nods slightly, pressing a kiss to her child’s forehead. “She’s very special to me and you are the most important person in my life and I wanted to make sure that you would like her.” She admits, a soft smile on her lips.

“She makes you happy, mother.” Seraph yawns, nuzzling into the bedding. “I love you.” She murmurs, her eyes drooping shut.

“I love you too, goodnight.” She whispers, brushing the hair from her child’s face. She sat there for a moment, just letting everything sink in.

“Heda, there is trouble.” Firat calls before the door slams shut.

A cold spike of fear has Lexa moving through the home and before she knows it, she’s standing out in the dark woods, watching Clarke wrestle a man to the ground. “Clarke?” She calls out, moving toward the scuffle.

“I’ve got it, just make sure there isn’t anyone else.” Clarke growls, trying to rip the gun from the man’s hands. “God damn it, Bennet, why are you here?” She asks, managing to pull the firearm away, tossing it into the underbrush.

Bennet surges up from the ground, clipping Clarke in the jaw, sending the blonde into the dirt. “You’re sick, these people have murdered so many of us.” He spits, his hands wrapping around Clarke’s throat.

Panic stirs in the blonde’s stomach, as fights against Bennet’s weight, trying to shove him off. The pressure eases on her throat, a sticky warmth coating her face as Bennet slumps forward, a knife buried in the side of his head.

Clarke manages to shove the dead man off of her, gasping her air as Lexa comes into view. “What just happened?” The commander asks, offering a hand to the blonde.

Clarke stands up, wiping her face on the sleeve of her jacket. “I was getting the horse ready when I heard something in the bushes and when I went to investigate, Bennet jumped me.” She explains, spitting out a mouthful of blood that she can only hope is all hers.

Lexa does a quick scan of Clarke’s injury, her brow furrowing when she spots a blossoming red spot on Clarke’s side. “What happened there?” She asks, her eyes flickering over to Firat who had made sure the area was clear.

“He shot at me, a bullet grazed me.” She murmurs, shaking her head. “That’s not important, I heard his radio crackle before he attacked me, I think he may have told Pike about Seraph.”

Everything falls away as Lexa gapes at Clarke, fear and anger pooling in her stomach, burning through her veins. “No..”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, wow. I would first like to start off by apologizing for the lateness of this chapter, I kind of lost the Clexa spark after 307, however, I've found it again and I think I'll be able to start posting a lot more frequently. Secondly, I am so blown away by the response this fic has gotten, I was really hesitant about posting this and I never thought it would get the amount of attention that it has and I just...fuck you guys are so amazing and I just want to thank you all. You guys keep me going. 
> 
> I hope you all like this new chapter!

Clarke lets out a soft sigh as she slides from the bed, stretching her arms high above her head, her shoulders popping deliciously. It isn’t until she realizes there’s another presence among her blankets that the night before comes flooding back. The trip to the clearing, Lexa’s daughter, the fight, bringing Seraph back to Polis. She glanced over her shoulder, taking in not one, but two bodies in her bedding with a slight smile.

Lexa was wrapped around Seraph protectively, the child clutching onto the pillow that had been Clarke’s the night before. She debates on waking them, but decides against it as the dull ache in her left side starts to make itself more known. 

She shuffles to the washroom, closing the door softly before leaning against it, pulling her shirt up to peel off the bandages that had been applied by Firat the night before.  The area was red and felt a little warm to the touch, but otherwise seemed healthy. She had to remember to ask one of the healers if she could possibly get a med kit for herself, she didn’t quite feel comfortable asking someone else to fix her up. 

With a soft sigh she went to the basin and started to pump water into it, wincing at the pain that flared up from the injury. She clenches her teeth and continues the job until she feels there’s enough water to wash the wound and perhaps her face. 

She takes her time slipping off the tunic that she has borrowed from Lexa the night before, a slight smile coming to her lips at the memory of Seraph begging her to stay the night. “She’s a spoiled little thing.” She murmurs, dropping the garment to the floor. 

She takes a clean cloth from the edge of the basin, dipping it into the fresh water before gently dabbing at the wound. It was an odd sort of shape, as if someone had just taken a small spoon and scooped out a section of her flesh, it was a clean shot, the edges smooth and it would heal into a nice sized scar. 

Clarke nearly jumps out of her skin when the door opens, revealing a tired looking commander. “Hi…” Is all the blonde can manage to say as she stands, topless in front of the leader of the clans. 

Lexa blinks a few times, her cheeks going red as she finally averts her eyes. “Excuse me, I didn’t realize…” The brunette trailed off, clearing her throat before continuing. “I assumed you had gone back to your room, I apologize.” 

Clarke lets out a nervous laugh, the sound echoing against the concrete. “Don’t apologize.” She manages to spit out before dissolving into giggles once more. She found that if she didn’t laugh, she may cry of embarrassment. Who would have thought that the first time Lexa saw her without a shirt, it would be while she was cleaning up? 

Lexa’s brow furrows in confusion as she watches the blonde clutching her sides as her chest bounces, the sound of Clarke’s melodic laughter surrounding them both. “Did I say something amusing?” She asks, head tilting to the side as the other woman starts to calm. 

“Oh no, it’s just…it was one of those laugh or cry moments, which you probably don’t even understand but…” Clarke shakes her head, grinning at the older woman.  “I guess I’m just embarrassed that you’re seeing me like this.” She admits, before reaching down to grab her discarded tunic, a hiss of pain rushing passed her lips. 

“Clarke.” Lexa says calmly, though the concern in her voice does not go unnoticed by the blonde. “You’re bleeding again.” 

Clarke takes this moment to let out another chuckle, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s not like it’s the first time.” She means it as a joke but instantly regrets the words as soon as she sees the pain that flashes across Lexa’s face. “Oh…no-I didn’t mean...” 

Lexa nods and offers a tight smile before deciding on a course of action. “Hold still.” She says softly before scooping Clarke up in one smooth, seemingly effortless movement. “Don’t you dare try to protest, you shouldn’t even be out of bed.” 

“It’s just a flesh wound...” Clarke pouts, but doesn’t argue any further, she hated to admit that it felt pretty nice to be in Lexa’s arms. 

“Hush or you’ll wake Seraph.” Lexa chided, but Clarke could see the smile that curves the commander’s rosy lips. “I’ll go and get Firat, you stay here and if I find you have moved before I get back, you will pay the price.” She smirks as she sets Clarke down on the couch, stepping away slowly. 

Clarke rolls her eyes but can’t resist the words that come out of her mouth next. “Oh? What’s the price, are you going to spank me or something?” 

The look that crosses Lexa’s face is somewhere between anger, embarrassment and amusement and Clarke can’t help the wicked smile that plasters itself across her face. The commander looks as though she wants to respond, but instead flashes a wicked smile of her own and exits the room, leaving Clarke feeling excited and confused. 

She sits and waits, the washcloth still in her grip put to use to staunch the bleeding. She is tempted to move, just to test the commander’s patience but stops herself when she sees Seraph sit up in bed. Little hands rub at soft green eyes before moving to run through impossibly thick waves. “ _ Nomon?” _

It isn’t until the child speaks that Clarke realizes she is still shirtless and moves to pull the fur off of the back of the couch to cover herself before Seraph can look over at her. “Sweetheart, your mom went to go and get Firat.” 

Seraph blinks a few times after she turns to look at Clarke, her mind taking a moment to register her surroundings. “Clarke…” She says finally, nodding to herself. “So mother bringing me to her home wasn’t a dream?” 

The innocence in the girl’s voice has Clarke frowning slightly, but she nods all the same. “Nope, it was all real, you’re going to stay with us from now on.” The blonde responds, patting the space next to her. “Here, why don’t you come sit with me until your mom comes back?” 

Seraph nods, crawling off of the bed, stumbling slightly as she makes her way to the couch, curling into Clarke’s right side. “Why did mother go to get Firat, is something wrong?” 

The blonde is silent for a moment, wondering what she should tell the child but decides a half-truth couldn't hurt. “I’ve just got a little scrape that needs looked at, there’s no need to worry.”

“Mother always kisses my scrapes better, maybe you could ask her to kiss yours.” Seraph replies, a knowing smile on her lips, making her look so uncannily like her mother. 

Clarke blushes slightly, but doesn’t get a chance to reply as the door opens to Lexa leading the healer into the room, a sullen look darkening her features. “Seraph, are you bothering Clarke?” 

“No, she’s not.” Clarke sticks her tongue out at the woman and squeezes Seraph slightly, ruffling the child’s already messy hair. 

“Nonetheless, let’s get you into the bath so Firat can help Clarke.” Lexa says, nodding toward the washroom. Seraph mumbles something before sliding off of the couch, following her mother. 

Clarke can’t help the smile that creeps onto her lips, nor the warmth that seems to blossom in her chest as she watches the two interact. She is shaken from thought, however, when Firat asks her to remove the blanket that she had been using to hide herself. “Right.”

The whole process takes about ten minutes and leaves Clarke biting the inside of her cheek. Firat had decided to stitch the wound up and Clarke opted against the draught he offered to reduce the pain, wanting to be able to be alert for the rest of the day. 

“Please refrain from bending or lifting for the next few days.” He says once he’s finished, looking up when the washroom door opens. Lexa comes into the main space, carrying a stone bowl and a clean rag, setting it next to Firat with a grateful look. 

She busies herself with getting Seraph dried and dressed while Firat cleans himself and Clarke up. He disposes of the water and exits without another word, leaving Clarke feeling slightly awkward about the whole situation. 

“Can I borrow a top?” She asks, pulling the fur across her torso once more, her cheeks seeming to glow red, her eyes refusing to move and meet the commander’s. 

“Of course, choose anything you wish.” Lexa answers, nodding toward the wardrobe across the room, a slight smirk on her face as she brushes Seraph’s hair out. 

Clarke lets out a soft sigh as she pushes herself off the couch, ignoring the jolt of pain that crawls up her side as she walks to the wardrobe, pulling on the first shirt she sees. It’s black and soft and smells like Lexa. “I’m just going to go to my room and get cleaned up.” 

“Alright, I’m going to have Indra meet us here soon to discuss last night.” Lexa says and though her tone is even, Clarke knows the brunette is far from calm. 

The blonde nods slightly before leaving the room, a slight frown on her features. She knew how stressed out Lexa was about the whole situation but Clarke couldn’t pretend that it didn’t bother her. She tried to push the thoughts of her people using a child as a pawn to the back of her mind but couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in her chest. 

It takes her a little longer to get dressed than it usually would, as she had to sit down on her bed and pull her jeans on and then her boots while bending as little as possible, not wanting to tear her stitches. By the time she’s dressed, she is slightly out of breath and dizzy from the pain that seems to thrum through her entire body. 

Clarke takes a moment to pull herself together before making her way back to Lexa’s room. She can tell by the look on the commander’s face that she didn’t look as well as she had hoped. “So, what’s the plan?” 

Lexa glances between her daughter and Clarke before speaking, gesturing for Clarke to sit down, worry evident on her tired features. “I believe I am going to have Indra and Firat take Seraph through the tunnels to one of our many hiding places and keep her safe.” 

Clarke is quiet for a moment, chewing on her lip. “As good as that plan sounds, , they may catch on if they will notice that Indra is missing.” She points out, looking up at the woman before continuing. “And you seem to forget that my-they know about the tunnels, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have someone watching them.”

The commander looks frustrated, but schools her features as soon as there is a knock at the door. “Enter.” She says calmly, pulling her daughter close as her eyes turn toward the entrance. 

Indra enters the room with a quiet power, her dark eyes sweeping the room, landing first on Clarke and then on Seraph, a grim expression making its way onto her face. “I feared this day would come too soon.” She murmurs, looking to her commander for orders. “What is the plan, Heda?” 

Lexa is quiet for a moment, before looking to Clarke, her eyes an emerald storm of emotion. “Wanheda, how do you suggest we handle this?” She asks finally, sincerity echoing in every syllable. 

Clarke is taken aback, she still had quite grasped the concept of Lexa trusting her, let alone trusting her with the life of her daughter. She sat, staring at the both of them for quite some time before nodding slightly, leaning forward. “Alright, this is what we need to do.” 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowzers, I was not expecting the kind of reaction I got for that last chapter, I just...guys you are all so amazing and I'm so glad I have readers like you. The next few chapters are mainly going to focus on Lexa and Clarke and is mostly for build up and to fill in some gaps, so while that is happening you can have the sweetest image of Aden giving Seraph a piggy back ride! Thank you guys so much for all the support, you all are the best. Also, I didn't have the patience to wait for my beta to edit this so I'm sure there are typos and I apologize for them if you find any.

“First off should we really be discussing this with Seraph in the room?” Clarke asks, brows raised at the people across from her, biting the inside of her cheek.

“I don’t see why not, this is a matter that involves her.” Lexa replies, her fingers absentmindedly running through her daughter’s hair. “Now please, tell us your idea.”

Clarke inhales slowly, knowing that her plan isn’t going to get the best reaction from the commander, but decides that it is probably the best option. “I think we should keep her here, where we can keep her safe.”

“You want us to keep her here?” Lexa asks, the iciness of her tone leaving Clarke unsure that she will be able to convince the commander to follow her lead. “Are you sure?”

Clarke is shocked by the brunette’s reply, but continues on. “Yes, so hear me out.” She says sternly. “They don’t really have a description of Seraph, so if we have Indra escort Firat with one of the nightbloods to a safe house, have them make it look as though that’s where you’ll be keeping her.”

Lexa’s jaw tightens but she refrains from interrupting letting Clarke finish the idea, keeping her hands busy, brushing through Seraph’s hair.  “Then instead of risking more lives than necessary, we’ll be having them walk into a trap.”

Clarke sits, waiting for Lexa to continue her protest, but when none come, she pushes forward. “Seraph stays here, where we can protect her until we can figure out what exactly is going to happen, between the shit show back at Camp Jaha and the Ice Nation’s involvement...It’s always better to keep the things you care about close.” She finally finishes, biting the inside of her cheek as her gaze flickers from Lexa to Indra and back again.

The commander stays silent, her facial expression giving no indication as to what may be going on in her head. She knew Clarke’s plan was smart, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling she got anytime she thought about people knowing her secret.

“I want to stay with you and Clarke.” Seraph says quietly, breaking the tense silence as she looks between the women in the room, a knowing look on her features.

“Seraph…” Lexa starts, but finds that she can’t bring herself to say no to the small angel in her lap. “If you stay here, you must stay hidden, you won’t be able to go outside too often and you will have very few people to keep you company, is that what you want?” She asks, biting her lip.

The child ponders this information for only a moment before speaking with a wisdom far beyond her years. “As long as I’m with you, I know I’m safe and you’ve always told me that there is strength in numbers, I will do whatever I have to do, as long as I can stay with you and Clarke.”

Clarke manages a soft smile as she watches the two interact, it is a slightly surreal experience, the knowledge of Lexa’s motherhood was a hard concept to wrap her mind around. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole situation, but something deep inside of her knew that she loved Lexa and therefore loved the small child that was now wrapped in the arms of the commander. She decided to sit down with Lexa and talk to her, the moment they had a little free time, try and figure things out.

“Clarke?” Lexa’s voice drew the blonde out of her thoughts, brows furrowed in confusion as she realized they were all looking at her again.

“I’m sorry, I sort of spaced out…” She admitted, blushing slightly as she ran a hand through her hair. She offered an apologetic smile, that turned into a grin when she realized Lexa was smirking at her.

“I was just asking if you would mind if Seraph stayed in your room, it is close by and I can have Indra stay with her there.” The commander explained, which only served to further Clarke’s confusion.

“Where would I stay?” She asks, feeling stupid once the words were out of her mouth. The tower had plenty of rooms, why was she concerned about where she would sleep.

“You will stay with me, of course.” Lexa smirks, her eyes flashing mischievously, though she schools her features as soon as Indra clears her throat. “Unless that is a problem.”

Clarke can feel the heat crawling up her neck as her eyes flicker between the people in the room. “No, not at all.” She squeaks, biting her lip hard.

The commander nods and looks to Indra, “I will have your things moved into the room and a spare bed put in so that when you return from the mission you will be comfortable.”

“Yes, Heda.” Indra responds, before taking her leave.

Clarke watched the warrior go, her eyes trained on the door long after it had shut, her brain slowly taking in the situation. She shakes her head a bit, looking like a dog trying to rid the water from its ears, before turning to look at Lexa and Seraph. “So, what do you want to do today?”

Lexa chuckles at this her shoulders shrugging as she wraps her arms around her daughter. “I could have Aden come and stay with Seraph and you and I could find somewhere to talk, in private.” She says, a knowing look in her eyes.

Part of Clarke is relieved that Lexa seems to sense she wants to talk, but another part of her is nervous, wondering how this conversation will go. “That sounds like a great plan, I’m sure Aden would love to meet Seraph.”

The commander smiles softly, nodding her head as she lifts Seraph out of her lap, setting her onto the floor and murmuring something into her ear. The child nods up at her mother, watching Lexa walk to the door before padding over to Clarke.

The blonde is somewhat shocked when the child crawls into her lap without asking, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s neck. “ _Mochof, Klark.”_ She murmurs, hugging the woman tightly.

Clarke hugs the girl back, smiling at the warmth that seems to radiate through her, this little girl was a piece of the woman she loved and though she was terrified of the whole situation, she couldn’t help loving Seraph. “You’re welcome, little one.”

Lexa returns after a few moments, Aden strolling behind her, chattering in Trigedasleng. She caught enough to know they were talking about Seraph, but chose not to pay attention, instead she held the child close. “When your mother and I are done talking, how about you and I do some drawings together?”

Seraph grinned up at the blonde bouncing in her lap. “Really? You mean it?” She asks excitedly, her eyes shining bright and for a moment Clarke wondered if Lexa’s eyes ever looked like that.

“I really mean it.” Clarke replies, ignoring the pain that throbbed through her side every time the girl bounced in her lap.

“Aden, this is Seraph.” Lexa says, breaking the moment. Both children are tense, Clarke can feel the way Seraph seems to curl in on herself as she looks up at the blonde boy in front of her.

Aden lifts a hand to wave, chewing the inside of his cheek as he looks to Clarke and then to Seraph. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Seraph, I am Aden, one of the warriors your mother has trained.”

It takes a moment for Seraph to reply, but when she does, it’s full of life and excitement. “Mother has trained you?” She asks, sliding off of Clarke’s lap, managing to elbow the blonde in the side. “That’s amazing! Could you show me how to fight?”

Lexa’s eyes flicker over to Clarke, who is gritting her teeth in pain, but does not say a word and instead walks over to her, offering her a hand. “Seraph, you behave for Aden, you respect him as you respect me.” She says, helping the blonde off of the couch.

Seraph stops in her excitement and nods to her mother. “Yes, mother.” She replies, grinning innocently up at the woman.

Clarke lets out a chuckle, putting a little distance between herself and the commander now that she was fully up right. “That’s a shit eating grin if I’ve ever seen one.” She murmurs, frowning when she realizes the humor of the statement is lost to them. “Never mind.”

Lexa shakes her head at the blonde, before turning her attention to the children in the room. “Aden, you know where to find me if I am needed, no leaving this room unless absolutely necessary, Firat is going to bring in some food for you two in a short while.”

Aden nodded and smiled up at his commander, respect radiating off of his body in waves. “Yes, Heda, she is in good hands.”

“I know.” Lexa offers him a warm smile, one she reserves for moments when there is no one around but the people she trusts, when she is more than Heda, when she is simply Lexa.

Clarke watches the exchange with a softened gaze, biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself from grinning like a fool. Part of her knew that this couldn’t possibly last, that somehow, something would find a way to ruin it, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, this moment was one she would hold in her heart for years to come.

The image is still in her mind, long after her and Lexa have relocated, they’re in the throne room now, the doors shut firmly behind them. It was odd to be back in the room that started this certain adventure.

“You probably have a lot of questions.” Lexa says as she settles down in one of the chairs meant for meetings and motions for Clarke to take the one next to her.

“Just a few.” Clarke manages a smile as she sits down, her knee pressed against the commander’s. “I guess it’s not really questions, more..I don’t know gaps that need filled in.” She shrugs, running a hand through her hair.

“You wonder how it is possible, am I correct in that assumption?” The brunette asks, looking more nervous, more vulnerable than Clarke had ever seen her before. “I will tell you, but you must promise not to think lowly of me, my past has never been something I talk about.”

“I could never think less of you.” Clarke insists, but bites her lip at the pained look on Lexa’s face. “I promise you.”

At the blonde’s promise, Lexa starts to tell her story, it is slow in some places, as though it takes all of her effort to say the words and in others she rushes through details so fast that Clarke isn’t sure she heard everything correctly. By the time the story is through, Lexa is drained and the blonde is filled with emotion.

She isn’t sure why, but she feels the need to have the commander close and so she pulls Lexa into a tight hug, made somewhat awkward by the angle of their chairs. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Clarke whispers, her face buried in Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa is taken aback by this kindness, this willingness to touch her after the horror story she had just finished retelling. As much as she hated herself, she couldn’t make herself pull away and instead melted into the embrace, clinging to Clarke as tears she swore she would never let anyone see, started to flow.

Neither is sure how long they stayed like that, locked in each other’s arms, but when they finally pull apart, they both feel slightly cold. “I’m sorry I made you cry.” Clarke murmurs, running a thumb across Lexa’s tear stained cheeks.

This makes the commander laugh, the kind of laugh that makes Clarke’s heart hurt. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t cause the tears, if anything I should be thanking you…I cannot remember the last time I cried. “

Clarke smiles softly, her hand still resting against the commander’s cheek. “I don’t want to see you cry, but if it helped.” She shrugs slightly, their eyes locking. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to do since you swore fealty to me...” She murmurs, moving to tangle her fingers in Lexa’s hair.

Lexa’s breath catches in her throat, her eyes flickering from Clarke’s gaze, to her lips and back again. “Clarke…” She whispers, but any words she may have come up with were lost to the softness of the blonde’s lips against her own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, quick warning, this chapter gets a little graphic, so if descriptions of blood bother you, you can skip this chapter and you won't miss too much, I plan on summarizing events in the next chapter.

Clarke has very few memories of happiness to compare this moment in time to and finds herself wondering if any might stand up to the feelings she has now, but once Lexa pulls her closer, kisses her harder, she comes to accept that never in her life has she ever felt this safe and so impossibly content. Lexa pulls away after a moment, the softest of smiles lighting up her features as she looks into beautiful sapphire eyes.

“What?” Clarke chuckles softly, her cheeks going pink as she presses their foreheads together. “You’re looking at me like I’m something magical or some cheesy thing.”

Lexa’s brow furrows and making Clarke smile at the movement. “Cheesy? Why would I think that you are a byproduct of dairy?” She asks, a slight frown on her lips as she tries to figure out why the blonde would think she was comparing her to food.

Clarke barely manages to keep a straight face, clearing her throat before explaining. “No, sweetheart, cheesy is when someone says or does something that’s like really romantic and cliché.” She says, pressing a quick kiss to Lexa’s nose. “You are being extremely adorable.”

The commander blinks a few times, her cheeks going pink as she realizes how simple the answer was. “I am not familiar with the way your people speak at times, though our languages are very similar, some of your humor and wordplay is lost in ours.”

“I know, but I like to watch your face as you try to figure out what something means, it’s quite adorable.” Clarke grins, chuckling when Lexa pinches her arm. “Hey, no pinching, I was just being honest.”

The moment is interrupted by the doors slamming open, Titus stumbling into the room. “Commander, Queen Nia is comi-.” The rest of his sentence turns into a garbled mess, blood dripping from the blade that protrudes from his sternum.

Lexa is stood in front of Clarke before Nia and Ontari even enter the room, her teeth bared. “You dare defy the coalition?” She growls, ready to fight despite the lack of a weapon.

Nia chuckles darkly, her hand on her warrior’s shoulder. “You have been Commander for far too long. I think it’s time we have another nightblood take over.” She says in a sickly sweet tone.

Clarke’s brow furrows, as she takes in the blood soaked clothes that cling to the two women, the chains around Nia’s wrist severed in the middle. “How many people did you kill just to get this far?” She finds herself asking as she moves to stand next to Lexa, her hands balled into fists.

Nia flashes a toothy grin, her eyes flashing dangerously. “Enough. I will be adding two more to the tally soon.” She chuckles lowly, nodding her head toward the two unarmed women. “ _Jomp op_ ”

Everything seemed to slow down for a moment, as Clarke moved, grabbing a candle holder from the ground, before standing in front of Lexa. Ontari’s blade slams into the iron pole, sending vibrations up the blonde’s arms. “Not today, bitch.” She growls, shoving the blade back with such a force the warrior stumbles.

Lexa was stunned for a moment, watching the blonde protect her, before she sprang into action herself. Following Clarke’s lead she too pulled a pole from the ground, attacking Nia with such ferocity, the queen finds herself worried.

Clarke grits her teeth as the blade sweeps across her arm, grazing her chest as Ontari pulls it back. The cocky grin that is plastered across the warrior’s face is enough to drive the blonde forward, slamming her makeshift weapon against Ontari’s, never letting up until she has driven her opponent back.

It isn’t until Ontari is against the back wall that Clarke takes a chance, using her arm as leverage to push the blade up, slamming the pole into the warrior’s hands. It loosens the brunette’s grip on the weapon long enough for Clarke to take advantage, taking the sword for herself.

She smiles triumphantly, though her victory seems short lived as Ontari tackles her to the ground, knocking the wind out of the injured blonde. Clarke doesn’t have a chance to catch her breath before a pair of strong hands are wrapped around her neck. Her vision starts to blur around the edges as she claws at the warrior’s hands, eventually giving up to search for her discarded weapon.

The brunette adds more pressure to Clarke’s neck, a sick smile transforming her features into that of the crazed killer she had been raised to be. The blonde was sure it would be the last thing she would see, until her fingers brushed against the leather wrapped hilt of Ontari’s sword. I’m sorry. She thought to herself as she brought the blade up with all of her strength, bringing it across her opponent’s back, gripping the blade with the other hand and pulling forward with everything she could muster.

The grip on her neck becomes slack, Ontari’s body slumping forward as it twitched upon Clarke. She sucked in a painful breath, blood surging to her brain as she lay there, for a moment, just breathing, trying to ignore the urge to vomit as she shoved the limp corpse off of her.

A mix of black and red stained her clothes, clung to her skin as she pushed herself off the floor, sword still gripped in her shaking hands. She could see Lexa was injured and forced herself to move forward, for her legs to comply.

She dropped the blade at Lexa’s feet before surging forward, shoving Nia to the ground, ignoring the pain that throbbed through her tired body. Despite getting pinned to the tile, she managed to wrestle the queen’s weapon from her, letting out a strangled cry as Nia dug her fingers into the seeping wound on Clarke’s arm.

“Clarke!” Lexa yells, as she brings her foot up, kicking the queen in the side hard enough to send her rolling off of the blonde. The commander steps over the woman, her foot against Nia’s throat, the blade poised over the queen’s heart.

“Lexa...”Clarke murmurs, her vision starting to fade as she rolls over, trying to make herself move as her body bleeds out.

Lexa tears her gaze away from the woman below her, eyes settling on the blood soaked clothes clinging to the blonde, she slams the heel of her boot against Nia’s skull, knocking the queen unconscious before she moves to lift Clarke off the ground.

Time drags on as Lexa paces the room, her hands clenched in tight fists. If she had just been more prepared, if she had taken care of the queen as soon as she had stepped foot in Polis, maybe things would be different. Or maybe they would be an even bigger mess, she had no idea. The news of Nia’s escape after a blatant attack on the commander, spread through Polis like wildfire and a team of warriors had already been sent out to go looking for the traitor.  Things were about to change, for better or worse, she did not know, but one thing was certain, she would be keeping Clarke and Seraph close until the queen was found.

She pauses in her pacing, looking up at the bed where Clarke lays, her skin pale and clammy, and fear leaps grips the commander’s heart. She’s distracted when the messenger she sent for comes running into the room, body shaking with nervousness, staring intently at the floor. “ _Chek ai au, Railee_ ”

The boy does as he’s told, looking up at the commander, his blue eyes wide. “ _Sha, Heda.”_ He murmurs, his whole body seeming to tremble under the woman’s intense gaze.

“I need you to ride to Arkadia, I need their healer Abby.” She says, doing her best to keep the fear out of her voice. “Take our fastest horse, tell Abby that we have done all that we can do, I cannot put enough stress on the importance of haste in this matter.”

The runner doesn’t stop to ask questions before bolting out of the door again, far too nervous to question the commander. Lexa watches the door shut behind him, before making her way to sit on the edge of Clarke’s bed. “I’m so sorry…” She says softly, taking Clarke’s cool hand in her own.

Lexa sits with Clarke, watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn’t get worse, that by some miracle Abby would show up and fix everything. “You stay with me…” She whispers, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against the blonde’s slick forehead.

She isn’t sure how long it is before Abby comes bursting through the doors, completely out of breath and a medical pack slung over her shoulder. “Explain what happened.” She demands as she storms her way to Clarke’s side, nearly shoving Lexa away.

“We were attacked and Clarke dealt with one of the enemies as I dealt with the other. She has a few wounds, two on her left arm and one across her chest as well as an existing wound that we had stitched up this morning that has reopened.” Lexa says calmly, moving to give the woman space. “She has lost a lot of blood…”

Abby nods her head as she pulls out various tools, listening to Clarke’s heartbeat, checking her pulse and her blood pressure. “She needs a transfusion.” She murmurs, digging through her bag, until she finds her radio.

“Jackson, do you copy, Jackson?” Abby says into the device as Lexa looks on in confusion. “Jackson, this is Abby.”

“ _This is Jackson, what’s going on_?” The radio crackles to life, the voice of the boy seeming to calm Abby’s nerves.

“I need you to run through the data banks and find out who at Arkadia is either A or O negative and get one of them to Polis as soon as possible.” She replies, her gaze flickering from Clarke’s still body, to Lexa and back again.

“ _Abby, that is going to take some time, what is this for?”_ Jackson calls back and Lexa can hear the strain in his voice.

“Clarke is hurt and needs a blood transfusion as soon as possible, she’s already done into shock and she may only have a few hours, I have everything I need to do the transfer I just need the blood.” Abby says, her hands fiddling with some tubing from her bag.

“ _I’ll do my best to get someone there asap, but you should have a backup plan just in case we can’t get someone there soon.”_ The boy responds, which causes Abby to toss the radio back into her bag, a frustrated sigh passing her lips.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let her stay here, I knew something terrible would come of it.” She mutters to herself as she starts to set up an IV, handing the bag off of the headboard.

“Abby, I have a suggestion.” Lexa says softly, moving to stand beside the doctor. “It is grounder tradition for the Commander to give blood to warriors who have suffered serious injuries, they believe it gives them strength and has never failed.”

“You’re suggesting that we do the transfusion with your blood? Who knows what could happen, what if she takes your blood and has an adverse reaction, how would we fix her then?” Abby asks, her hands balled into fists as she steps toward the commander.

“I have given my blood to countless warriors, as did the Commander and those before her, no one has ever had a reaction to the blood before, why would Clarke?” Lexa responds, thinking back to the stories of the first commander. “The very first Commander gave her blood to those of the first clan and saved them from the poisoned mist that clung to the ground and thus our people survived, please trust me.”

Abby clenches her jaw, her eyes hard as she looks up at the young commander. “This is my daughter, I will not put her life in your hands, not again.” She says, venom laced into every syllable. “The last time we trusted you, you left her on the mountain, alone.

Lexa cools the anger that flares in her chest at the woman’s words before she speaks. “Clarke has already forgiven me for the choices I made that day, I did what I had to do to make sure both of our peoples survived.” She rolls her shoulders in an attempt to rid herself of the tension that clings to her muscles. “By leaving your army on the mountain, I made sure the mountain men would think they had won, I made sure your people had time.”

Abby’s anger falters for a moment as she takes in the information, her mind still holding onto the image of the commander that best suited her hatred. “I don’t care if she’s forgiven you, I haven’t and I won’t.”

“Abby, I care not for your feelings about me, all that matters right now is Clarke surviving. “Lexa replies, trying to mask the fear that has settled in her chest. “I am giving you a solution, please…use it.”

The doctor frowns slightly, letting out a soft sigh, her gaze moving between Clarke and Lexa. “I just don’t want to make this worse, what if she has an adverse reaction? There are so many things that could go wrong.”

“You have someone headed this way anyway, if anything should happen, you have a backup plan.” Lexa assures the mother, a wave of relief washing over the commander. “I do not think we will need them, but they are on their way, just remember that.”

Abby hesitates for a moment longer before nodding her head, moving to pull out her supplies. “Alright, let’s get this done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has read this and given me feedback and just shared their excitement for this story. I couldn't ask for better readers, you guys are amazing and you've all made this story possible. Thank you so much!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so fair warning there is a descriptive panic attack in this chapter, so if reading about them bothers you at all I have marked the beginning and end of it, with ~ so you can skip it.   
> Also, I didn't have the patience to wait for my beta to get home so I again apologize for any and all typos!

The sounds of her mother and Lexa talking is enough to bring Clarke from the warm depths of sleep, despite the heaviness of her body. “Lexa?” She murmurs as her eyes finally open, the room around her nothing but blurred shapes.

“Clarke, I’m here.” Lexa’s soft voice comes from the left, before a pair of warm hands are caressing her face. “How do you feel?”

The blonde’s brow furrows at the question as she looks up at the commander, blinking until her vision clears, a slight smile on her lips. “I must be dead.” She blurts out the only explanation she has for being able to be this close to an actual angel.

“No, you’re not dead, I promise you.” Lexa replies, running a thumb across Clarke’s warm cheek. “You’re injured, but alive.”

Clarke lets out a giggle, regretting it the instant the sound is out of her mouth, a jolt of pain radiating from her left side. “Fuck me…” She groans, wincing as she moves her arm. “It wasn’t just a dream, the fight was real, wasn’t?”

“We’ll discuss it later, when you’re feeling stronger.” Lexa promises, pressing a quick kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “Your mother is here, she’s going to help you for a little while so I can take care of some things, I’ll be back soon.”

Clarke frowns at the brunette, bringing a sluggish hand to rest against the commander’s cheek. “Why do you have to go?”

“I have to attend to some important matters, I will be back as soon as I can.” She offers a sad smile, laying her hand over Clarke’s. “Aden and Seraph and your mother will be here to keep you company.”

“Wait, you told mom about Seraph?” The blonde asks, confusion shining in her eyes when Lexa nods in reply. “You…why?”

“You trust her.” Lexa says simply, shrugging her shoulders. “But I really must go now, I’ll be back soon, behave.” She flashes a smile before pulling away, straightening her back before turning around, cheeks going pink as she realizes Abby had been watching them the whole time.

“Send for me if you need anything at all.” Lexa says before picking up her child, pressing a kiss to the girl’s cheek. “You watch after Clarke and try not to cause trouble.” She smiles softly, hugging Seraph tightly, setting her down before looking to Aden.

The boy nods in reply to the unvoiced command before smiling at his mentor. “Do not worry.” He says, his demeanor so much like his commander’s.

The all watch the woman leave, before looking toward a confused Clarke. “What?” She asks, her voice cracking from under use.

“Nothing, sweetheart.” Abby smiles, moving to sit on the other side of her daughter, nodding when Seraph looks up expectantly. “Come on, just be careful not to bump into Clarke.” She says softly, allowing the child to crawl into her lap.

“How long was I out?” Clarke asks suddenly, watching the exchange with curious eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her mother actually hold a child.

“About a week, you had lost a lot of blood and so your body just needed time to replenish it.” Abby replies, running her fingers through the child’s hair. “Lexa saved your life, she donated blood, told me to take as much as I could.”

Clarke frowns slightly, trying to make her tired brain work. “How was it even possible, I mean how did you know my body wouldn’t reject it?” She asks, moving slowly until she was propped up against the pillows, pain throbbing through her.

“I didn’t know, couldn’t know until we did a blood test, but she insisted that it would work and it did.” The doctor let out a soft chuckle. “It’s funny really, I was so angry with her still that I almost didn’t let her do it, but I couldn’t let you die…”

The blonde reaches over, placing her hand over her mother’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “You can trust her, I do.” She says softly, biting her lip.

“I know that now and I do.” Abby admits, moving to pull Seraph closer to Clarke. “We eventually got to do a blood test, not just on her but the children with the black blood as well and they all have O negative blood, it’s so rare and yet here they all are...it’s fascinating.”

Clarke manages a soft smile, letting Seraph curl up into her right side. “Hey you.” She murmurs, running a hand through the girl’s hair. “Have you been behaving?” She asks, glancing over to see her mother watching them.

“Of course I have, your mom is really cool!” Seraph grins, snuggling closer to the blonde. “She’s been teaching Aden and I about medicine, did you know that red blood cells carry oxygen through the body?” She asks excitedly, looking up at the woman with wonder in her eyes.

“Does it really?” Clarke asks, unable to keep the smile off of her face, Seraph’s happiness was just too contagious. “You’ll have to tell me all about it.”

The girl pauses for a moment before starting her explanation of how the circulatory system worked. Clarke couldn’t bring herself to correct some of the mistakes, nor to stop the child’s excited rambling, it was a nice change.

A soft beeping interrupted Seraph’s lesson, confusing Clarke as she looks around the room, trying to find the source of the sound. “Ah, Seraph it’s time for Clarke to get her medicine.” Abby says softly, moving from her daughter’s side.

Clarke watched her walk around the bed, bending over to pick up a small machine off the ground, pressing a few buttons to quiet the device. Seraph slid from her spot on the bed, moving to sit with Aden on the couch, snuggling into his side instead. “We’ve been giving you antibiotics for the last week, just to fight off any infection that could occur, between the lacerations and the blood transfusion, we wanted to be safe.”

The blonde nodded, watching her mother draw up the medicine before putting it into her IV. She watched the liquid drip from the port and into the tube. It was an odd sort of feeling, knowing that the fluids were now being distributed through her body. “Anything else?” She asks, turning her head to look at her mother once more.

“Not quite yet, unless you think you need something for the pain, otherwise I’ll wait until you’re ready to sleep.” Abby replies, tilting her head at her daughter.

Clarke debates on taking the offered medication, but decides against it as soon as Lexa strides into the room, looking stressed. “What’s wrong?” She asks, taken aback by how much time had passed since she had first woken up.

“We have news from Arkadia.” Lexa says, looking to Aden. “Will you please take Seraph back to her room and lock the doors, I will come to see you both later.” She asks the boy, who nods and holds his hand out to the girl.

Seraph pouts slightly, looking up at the blonde boy. “Aden, will you carry me?” She asks in a voice as sweet as honey. Aden blushes slightly, but kneels down so the child can climb onto his back, before standing and walking them both out of the room.

Clarke smiles at the sight, until the two children disappear out the door. She focuses her attention back onto Lexa who has started pacing. “Octavia will be here shortly to speak to us all, she is not to know about Seraph quite yet.” Lexa speaks, her voice strained.

“Of course.” Mother and daughter reply at the same time, glancing at one another before chuckling lowly.

“Alright, since we’re in agreement, I will let them know to send her in, Clarke, if you feel something is going to put too much stress on you, you let us know.” The commander says, biting her lip as she looks over at the blonde. “You’re healing, your body doesn’t need any extra stress added on, okay?”

Clarke manages a smile as she nods. “Alright, I’ll let you know if something stresses me out too badly.” She promises, watching Lexa smile in reply before heading out of the door once more.

“She really loves you, doesn’t she?” Abby asks quietly, watching her daughter with knowing eyes. “She looks at you like you’re the world.”

Blood rushes to the blonde’s cheeks as she attempts to find words. “I…no, she doesn’t love me, respects me perhaps, but I don’t think she loves me.”

Abby lets out a chuckle, shaking her head at the clueless girl. “Clarke, I am your mother, please trust me when I tell you that I know what love looks like.” She says softly, smiling at her daughter. “And she looks at you like you are the moon and stars.”

Clarke opens her mouth to respond, shutting it once the door creaks open, revealing an annoyed looking Lexa and an angry Octavia. “This could mean life or death and you make me wait?” The smaller girl growls.

“I needed to make sure Clarke was still awake, can we move on from this matter?” Lexa asks, brows raised at the girl. “As you put it, these are life or death circumstances, are they not.”

Octavia looks like she’s about to yell, but Clarke interrupts her. “O, breathe for a second.” She says, trying to sit up in her bed.

“What the hell happened to you? They told me you were sick…” Octavia responds, eyes flickering from the blonde’s bruised neck, to her bandaged wounds and back to her face. “Wait, is this what happened? Why Nia escaped?”

Clarke lets out a sigh, nodding her head a bit. “Her and Ontari attacked us and I…Ontari is dead.” Her voice cracks on the word, her body seeming heavier now that she had admitted to the act. “I don’t remember much after I tackled Nia down, just waking up here…”

The anger seems to drain from Octavia as she moves to sit next to her friend, she may not have forgiven Clarke completely for her actions in the last few months, but she still cared for the girl. “I’m glad you’re okay, we have other things to worry about though, unfortunately.”

Clarke moves to place her hand on Octavia’s arm, squeezing gently. “I’m always okay, you know that.” She offers a half smile, before looking around the room. “So, what’s going then?”

“Nia has infiltrated Arkadia and made friends with Pike, anyone who doesn’t follow them can either leave or be killed…” Octavia starts, shaking her head “They’re planning on attacking Polis, I guess they’re going to rally support from the other clans, find people who don’t agree with Lexa’s recent decisions.”

“How did you find all of this out?” Abby asks as she paces the room, following the same line Lexa had been walking the whole week.

“Bellamy, of course.” The girl sighs, flexing her hands as though she has an itch to hit something. “I’m afraid he’s going to choose the wrong side in this because he’s convinced that the grounders have taken something from him…”

Clarke pulls Octavia into a one armed hug, ignoring the pain that flares from her injuries. “I’m sorry O, I’m so sorry…” She murmurs, squeezing her gently. “We’ll get this all figured out…I can try and talk to him if you want.”

Octavia tries to smile, the corners of her mouth lifting a fraction. “I’m not sure it would help right now; he has it stuck in his head that you’ve chosen Polis over Arkadia.”

“I haven’t chosen anyone, over anyone else, I just want peace and I believe being here is the best place for me to be right now.” Clarke sighs softly, looking over at Lexa who has been watching the two’s interaction. “Where are the people going to go, the ones who won’t follow Pike?”

“They can stay in Polis; we have empty buildings they can stay in.” Lexa says, her voice barely audible. “You can bring them in small groups at night, we will keep them safe.”

Clarke and Octavia both look to the commander, brows raised. “Seriously? You’re offering us safe haven in your city? I thought you didn’t like Skaikru.” Octavia blurts out, shock evident in every word.

Lexa snorts, such a sound coming from the commander was almost comical. “I may not like some of your people, but I will not allow innocent people to be harmed because of me. Nia is my problem and I will take care of her.”

“But isn’t Azgeda ruthless? Won’t their army be able to wipe out your forces?” Octavia asks, leaning forward, her brows furrowed. “How do you plan on winning?”

“Azgeda is under the rule of King Roan now, most of their forces are loyal to him and he has already pledged loyalty to me, I doubt any more than a fourth of the people will flock to Nia, she ruled with an iron fist and many followed her out of fear, not respect.” Lexa explained, reaching out to put a hand on Abby’s shoulder, stilling the woman. “Your people will be safe here.”

Abby jumps slightly at Lexa’s touch, but offers a grateful smile toward the young woman. “We appreciate it, Octavia and myself can go and start getting people out, the people we trust.” She says softly, glancing up at her daughter. “You’ll make sure Clarke takes her medication?”

“Mom, I am an adult, I can remember to take my medicine.” Clarke interrupts, eyes narrowing at her mother.

“You’re also stubborn and like to refuse pain management.” Abby replies, her eyes never leaving Lexa’s face. “So, you’ll keep her in line?”

“I will make sure she doesn’t overdo things and encourage her to take her pain medication, yes.” The commander says finally, a slight smirk bringing the corners of her mouth up. “But as you know, there is no forcing your daughter to do anything.”

“I know; she takes after her father.” Abby says softly, a soft sadness settling into her tone. “Anyway, Octavia and I should probably head out soon.

“I’ll send some of my warriors with you, just in case.” Lexa offers, before leaving the room, giving them privacy should they need it.

“Clarke, there’s something you should know.” Octavia says after a few moments of silence. “Pike has it in his head that Lexa has a child, I’m not sure why, but he does and he sent some scouts after a couple of grounders that were headed toward the north.”

The blood drains from the blonde’s face at the information and she wonders if she should tell Octavia the truth. “That’s odd.” She says, her brow furrowing slightly. This was not her secret to tell after all.

“I know it is, we should probably let Lexa know.” Octavia replies, moving from her spot on the bed. “Do you want to, or should I before I leave?”

“I’ll take care of it, you just make to get everyone we can here, okay?” Clarke offers her a strained smile, knowing things were about to get far more complicated. “Everything’s going to work out.”

“I hope so.” The brunette nods, before grabbing Abby’s bag. “Let’s go see about those warriors who are coming with us.”

Abby nods before moving to hug her daughter. “Be safe.” She murmurs, kissing her daughter’s cheek. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

~~~~~

Clarke rolls her eyes, watching the two leave before her body slumps against the pillows. “Fuck…” She murmurs to herself, her mind wandering to all of things that could go wrong. How would they keep Seraph safe and still a secret? Would they last very long in a war? How many people were going to die because of the actions of a few? How would she keep everyone she loved, safe?

Her heart starts to beat painfully fast, her breathing becoming rapid and shallow. Her head throbs as the world around her starts to blur around the edges. She finds herself clawing at the IV in her arm until it is no longer attached, blood seeping from the small wound. Clarke tears the blankets off the bed, trying to cool her over heated body as her brain continued to push her into a deeper state of panic.

Her skin seemed to crawl every time she moved, like it didn’t quite fit. Her nails dig into the flesh on her thighs, trying to rid herself of the itch that radiated from the very base of her being. Blood welled up around her finger tips, smearing across pale skin.

“Clarke?” The voice seems watered down, like an echo of an echo. “Clarke, what are you doing.” Suddenly there are warm hands covering her own, holding them above her skin. Her body trembles as she folds into the body next to her.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Lexa murmurs softly, pulling Clarke close. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” She rubs her hands along the girl’s back slowly, holding her closely. They stay like that for a short while Clarke calms down, panic turning to tears that turn into soft sniffles.

“I haven’t had a panic attack in years…” Clarke mumbles, moving to wipe the moisture from her face. “I’m sorry I bled on your sheets again…”

Lexa shakes her head, her fingers still tracing lazy patterns against Clarke’s back. “Do not apologize for things you cannot control.” She murmurs softly, sliding one arm under Clarke’s legs, keeping the other at her back. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Clarke refrains from protesting as the commander lifts her from the bed and instead slides her arms around Lexa’s neck, resting her head against the brunette’s warm chest. “Okay…”

~~~~~~

Lexa shoulders the bathroom door open, careful not to jar the girl in her arms. She sets Clarke down on the edge of the large, in-ground tub, before reaching over to pull a lever. They could hear a faint chime that seemed to echo in the wall itself, before hot water started to pour from the faucet at a steady pace.

“How does that work?” Clarke finds herself asking, as though having working plumbing was a fascinating subject.

“We have a holding tank, that has a flame under it, when someone in the tower wishes to take a hot bath, they simply pull the lever and it alerts the people downstairs to which room it is and they can start pumping the water.” Lexa explains as she pours a few drops of lavender oil into the water.

She replaces the small bottle to its home next to various soaps and oils before turning to help Clarke undress. “We put you in this, so we could take it off without lifting your arms, do you mind if I help?” She asks, frowning slightly. Lexa had gotten so used to just helping the blonde while she was hurt, that she had to make herself pause before doing so.

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke replies, her cheeks burning at the thought of Lexa seeing her naked more than once, let alone the things she may have had to do.

Clarke is still while Lexa undoes the ties one the side of the tunic, pulling the fabric away for the blonde slowly, careful not to brush against any of her injuries. Once the garment is off, Lexa averts her eyes, not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable.

Clarke takes a moment to slip out of her underwear, dropping the fabric to the floor before clearing her throat, trying not to think of what might have happened while she was out. “You, uh can look at me.” She says softly, tilting her head at the woman next to her.

Lexa takes a slow breath before turning her head, taking in every inch of the blonde that she could. Her gaze travels from oceanic eyes, to the faint scar across the bridge of her nose, the mole above her lips. She frowns as she settles on the yellowing bruises around Clarke’s neck, she makes herself move onto the curve of shoulder, the dip of her collarbone. “You’re beautiful.” She breathes, as she looks back into Clarke’s eyes.

The blonde lets out a chuckle, shaking her head. “No, you’re beautiful, I’m just…me.” She shrugs as she starts to peel off her bandages. She balls the material up and tosses it into the waste bin in the corner.

Lexa hooks a finger under Clarke’s chin, making the blonde look up at her. “You are beautiful, there is no arguing that fact.” She assures the girl, smiling nervously. “I really want to kiss you…”

“So kiss me.” Clarke replies, leaning closer to the commander until their lips are a mere fraction apart. It doesn’t take any more convincing for Lexa to close the small gap between them.

As soon as their lips touch, Clarke feels like she’s floating, like she’s been transported to another world where stress and pain no longer exist. She can feel herself relaxing instantly as she pulls Lexa closer, her fingers gripping the fabric of Lexa’s shirt tightly.

Lexa has to force herself to pull away, to chuckle breathlessly at the feeling of complete contentedness. “The things you do to me.” She murmurs softly, pressing their foreheads together. “But we need to get you cleaned up.”

Clarke lets out a soft sigh, tugging on the commander’s top. “Why don’t you join me?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a long time coming for a filler chapter...I apologize for the wait and the shortness of this chapter, I plan on posting the next soon though. I promise. Thank you all for your continued support of this story!

Lexa smiles slightly as she runs her hand along Clarke’s shoulder, her fingers tracing the jagged scars that have made their home against pale skin. She tries to think back to the first time she had laid eyes on the blonde, when the first members of Skaikru had crashed into the earth, tries to remember what Clarke had looked like before her life had changed forever. “I’m sorry.” Lexa finds herself saying, her arms sliding around Clarke’s waist, causing the water to lap around the edges of the tub.

Clarke’s brows furrow as she turns her head to look at the woman behind her, her blue eyes shining with curiosity. “Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything.” She says softly, placing her hands on top of Lexa’s.

The Commander shakes her head, lips pressed together in a tight line. “But I have, if I had only known better, if I had sent someone to speak with you before I had attacked…” Her voice is soft, yet heavy with emotion. “If I had just been patient and allowed your people to speak when you first arrived…you wouldn’t be in so much pain.”

Clarke lets out a soft chuckle, pulling away from Lexa long enough to turn around to face the brunette, determination on her face. “Lexa, you did what you thought was best for your people, you couldn’t have known that we weren’t like the mountain men, you were just protecting your own.” She offers a soft smile as she caresses the Commander’s cheek.

“While I understand where you’re coming from, I never blamed you for what happened before the mountain, we both did some things we’ve come to regret, but we’re here now and we’re alive and we’re going to fight this war and win it for all of the people we’ve lost.” Clarke says softly, but there’s a hint of firmness in her promise to make things right. “It’s been a long time coming, but our people will be one and unite against this new enemy.”

Lexa can’t help the smile that tilts her lips upward, nor the wonder in her gaze as she takes in the look of determination on the blonde’s face. Though she can’t really find the words to express how she feels, she nods and leans forward to brush their lips together, reveling in the way Clarke responds, arms around her neck, pulling herself closer to the Commander.

Clarke pulls away after a moment, offering a shy smile. “Don’t get me wrong, as much as I would love to see where this all might go…I need to tell you about what Octavia informed us of.” She murmurs, though she doesn’t pull away from the other woman.

Lexa allows Clarke to tell her information she is already aware of and does her best not to interrupt but when Clarke starts to apologize for not being able to stop Bennett soon enough, she stops her. “Clarke, this was bound to happen sooner or later, don’t blame yourself, you didn’t know Pike had a scout watching us, none of this is your fault.”

Clarke frowns slightly but nods anyway, biting her lip. “I just wish I could do more.” She says, her voice barely above a whisper. “I feel useless a lot of the time; like all I can do is get people killed…”

Lexa brings a hand up to hold Clarke’s face gently, brushing her thumb across the smooth skin.  “Clarke, you have got to stop beating yourself up for your past, yes it is a part of you, but you must not dwell upon it.”

Clarke is quiet for a moment, leaning into Lexa’s touch while she thinks. “I just wish I could fix the things I’ve fucked up.”

Lexa smiles at that, a sad sort of smile as she leans forward to press a soft kiss against Clarke’s forehead. “You may not be able to fix all of the mistakes you have made, but you can spend your life working toward something more than your past.”

The blonde lets out a sigh, shifting closer to Lexa, bodies pressed together as Clarke lays her head on the Commander’s chest, listening to the sound of the heart that pumps below the surface. “I want more.” She says so softly, she is unsure if she had actually spoke.

“If you will it, you will have what you want.” Lexa replies, tracing shapes along Clarke’s back, trying to ignore the beautiful feeling of having this woman pressed against her. She could never have thought they would ever end up like this, close and vulnerable, just existing without pressure for even just a moment.

Clarke swallows hard before pressing a kiss directly over Lexa’s heart. “And what if I want you?” She asks, her voice soft yet strong as she pulls away enough to look into mossy eyes,

The Commander is taken by surprise, despite their recent intimate moments, she hadn’t exactly expected the blonde to be so bold, then again, neither of them had ever had a chance to follow their hearts. “Then I am yours.”

Clarke’s face lights up at the answer, a brightness behind sapphire eyes that make her look as though she hadn’t spent the last few months in hell. “Really?” She asks, because no matter how real this may feel, she needs to make sure that this is what Lexa wants too. “You really want to be with me?”

Lexa can’t help the soft laugh that passes her lips at the blonde’s reaction nor the smile that stays plastered on her face as she speaks. “Clarke, I have wanted to be with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you…when we kissed in the tent.” She pauses, biting her lip. “You have no idea how long I have waited for this.”

“You could have said something sooner.” Clarke whispers before pulling the Commander into a hard kiss, ignoring everything that wasn’t Lexa’s hands on her or the quiet happiness that seems to thrum through her tired body.

Clarke’s hands are buried in Lexa’s damp hair, bringing them impossibly close while Lexa fingers dig into soft hips, holding them together. They’re unbelievably close, hearts hammering in their chests as they take the moment and hold onto it firmly, doing whatever they can to make it last as long as possible.

It isn’t until one of them moves to pull away that things start to go awry. They can’t be sure who had done it, but one of them had moved too much, putting their delicate seating arrangement in the tub off balance. Clarke loses her balance, sliding off of Lexa’s lap, her bottom half moving forward, shoving Lexa up and nearly out of the tub.

The Commander lets out an undignified squeal, the ridiculous sound echoing off the walls as Clarke rights herself, eyes wide as Lexa clings to the side of the tub, panting heavily. “What in the name of all that is mighty just happened?” She asks, green eyes staring holes into blue.

There’s a silence for a moment, while the scene sinks in before Clarke starts laughing. The sound comes bubbling from deep within her chest, pouring from her mouth to bounce around the room, wrapping Lexa in the warm melody.

“ _Shof op, Klark.”_ Lexa huffs, splashing the other woman with water before moving to climb out of the tub, shaking her head. Her cheeks burned as Clarke continued to laugh, her body shaking with the effort. “It was not that entertaining…” She pouts slightly, grabbing a towel from the counter, wrapping her body in its soft embrace.

Clarke shakes her head, holding a hand up as she takes a moment to calm down, a gentle ache setting into her body. “No, no I know it’s just the sound you made…it was so uncharacteristic, I mean you’re this regal Commander and you squealed like a small child.” Clarke grins, wiping the tears that had rolled down her cheeks during her fit of laughter.

Lexa rolls her eyes but moves to help Clarke out of the tub, being careful to keep an eye on the healing wounds on the blonde’s body. Nothing looking looked too bad anymore but she wasn’t going to take any chances. “Let’s get you dried off and get you some new bandages and then we’ll go see then children.”

It takes a few moments for them to dress and make sure that Clarke was taken care of before they made the short trip to see Seraph and Aden. Lexa knocked on the heavy wooden door in a pattern which made Clarke’s brow furrow until Aden cracked the door open and smiled. “Heda, Wanheda.”

The blonde smiles softly and moves to ruffle Aden’s sandy locks as she speaks. “You know you’re allowed to call me Clarke, I’d prefer it actually.” She chuckles softly as they’re lead inside.

Seraph is curled up on the bed fast asleep, her face covered by chestnut locks. The sight makes both women stop for a moment, smiling first at the girl and then at each other. “Did you tell her then?” Aden asks softly, brows raised and a smirk to match his mentor’s is spread across her lips.

Lexa’s cheeks go red as she shoots Aden a look, eyes narrowed. “ _Shof op.”_ She warns, but Aden continues to smirk. “I will tell her when I am ready.”

“Tell me what, exactly?” Clarke asks, arms crossed along her chest, fingers absentmindedly itching at the spot where her IV had been attached.

Lexa opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by a small voice. “That she loves you, of course.” Seraph says as she yawns, arms stretching above her head.

Clarke smiles softly, brows raised as she and the children all look at Lexa who appears to be wishing she were anywhere but on the spot. “W-well I, I mean…” She stutters, biting her lip before shaking her head. “I mean, she already knows, don’t you, Clarke?”

The blonde snorts softly before moving to kiss the Commander’s cheek, giving the children a look. “Enough teasing.” She says simply before moving to sit in a chair near the bed.

Seraph moves to sit in Clarke’s lap, avoiding her injured side as she cuddles into the blonde. “I’m glad to see you up and walking and happy.” She says softly, nuzzling the woman’s collarbone.

Clarke runs her fingers through Seraph’s hair slowly, as she allowed the girl to get comfortable. “I am too, little one.” She says softly, looking up to find Aden and Lexa smiling at them from their own seats across the room.

She feels like if she tries hard enough she could make this moment last forever, that she might be able to take these three people she cares for and just flee to a happily ever after, but she should know that nothing worth doing in life is easy.

“ _Heda, the first group of Skaikru is arriving in Polis and a few are injured, we need your assistance.”_ A voice calls out from the other side of the door.

 Clarke stiffens slightly as Lexa rises, striding toward the door. “Wait, I’m coming with you, these are my people too.” She says, already lifting Seraph off of her lap, ignoring the twinge of pain in her side.

 “No, I know these are your people, but we do not know what this merging in our Capital will cause, if a fight broke out for any reason, you would be an easy target…I can’t have that.” Lexa says calmly, offering the blonde a slight smile before leaving the room.

Clarke can hear Lexa order the guard outside to make sure no one came or went from the room and for a moment, she wonders if Lexa is right or not. She’s out of her chair quickly though, shaking her head as she crosses the room. “Aden, stay here, keep Seraph safe, I need to know what’s going on.”

Aden is hesitant to allow Clarke to leave, but knows there is no stopping her. “Yes, Wanheda.” He replies finally before Clarke disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the length and if there are any typos, my beta is pretty busy at the moment so bare with me. Thank you guys so much, see you next chapter


	8. Chapter 8

As Lexa steps out of the tower, she is met with a sight, a group of about thirty Skaikru were surrounded by her people. Though not all seemed to have malicious intent, it worried her that most seemed opposed to these people being in the capital. “ _Daun ste pleni_ _!_ ” She shouts, a deadly edge in her tone. “Skaikru are here under my orders, anyone who has an issue with that, may feel free to take it up with me.”

Her people all seem to stiffen before backing away from the sky people, murmuring amongst themselves as they dispersed. Lexa nodded to herself before approaching a few familiar faces. “My apologies.” She offers to Abby, bowing slightly to the strong woman. “Some have not forgotten the past, but they will soon come to know that this is for the best.”

Abby goes to speak, but before she can Raven is shoving passed her to run forward. “Clarke!” She yells, meeting the blonde half way, pulling her into a tight hug. “Chrimeny, you had me worried.” She murmurs, squeezing her friend tightly.

Clarke smiles warmly, hugging her friend back, ignoring the twinge of pain that flares through her body under Raven’s strong grip. “Mm, I’ve been worried too, but now you guys are here and we’re going to figure this out.” She replies, pulling away get a look at her friend.

Raven was a bit thinner, paler even than the last time Clarke had seen her, thick dark circles under her eyes. “You look like shit.” She chuckles, ignoring the looks she can feel being directed her way.

“Look who’s talking, you look like you’ve had the shit beat out of you.” Raven replies, but moves to Clarke’s side, slinging an arm around her shoulders like nothing had ever changed between them. “Now, let’s go before you explode from the dual glare you’re getting.”

Sure enough, when she finally looks over to the two women she cringes slightly, finding that they are indeed giving her the same death glare. “I was told to stay inside, just incase this went badly, but I couldn’t just not know what was going on.”

The brunette snorts softly as they make their way back to the group. “You never could keep out of trouble.”

“Hi, mom.” Clarke grins, trying her best not to show how uncomfortable she is. “You brought a pretty good number of people, I can’t imagine it was easy.”

Brown eyes narrow at blue, shaking her head slightly. “We’ll discuss it later, you should be in bed, resting.” Abby states, her gaze flickering from her daughter to the Commander and back again. “Or do you just like being in pain.”

The blonde sighs softly, running a hand through her hair. “I couldn’t just sit back and not know what was going on, I can rest later, I feel fine.” She argues, knowing it’s only a half truth, she’s sore and borderline exhausted, but she couldn’t sit around and do nothing.

Abby just shakes her head again before turning her attention back to Lexa. “Where should we set up camp?” She inquires, brows raised and Clarke can tell her mother is disappointed in the Commander for not making sure she was kept away.

“We have some buildings behind the tower that are no longer in use, come I will show you.” Lexa replies, turning on her heel. She stops and murmurs to a guard before continuing on her way.

The man comes up beside Clarke and just stands there, looking grim. Clarke blinks at him a few times before shaking her head. “I don’t need a babysitter.” She grumbles before grabbing Raven’s hand. “Come on, I want to see Octavia, I need to talk to her.”

Raven stops, holding Clarke back gently. “Uhm, maybe we shouldn’t she’s not…feeling well.” She lies, frowning slightly as she thinks of the younger girl.

“What do you mean, I just saw her a few hours ago, what happened?” The blonde asks, brows furrowed. “Did she get hurt?”

The brunette opens her mouth and shuts it again, letting out a soft sigh. “She’s not physically hurt…but.” She trails off, when she sees the younger Blake walking toward them. Her eyes are rimmed red, her war paint marred with tear tracks.

“Lincoln is dead.” Octavia grits out, her hands balled into fists as her body shakes. “He’s dead and I couldn’t even do anything about it...” Her voice trembles and before she can break, Clarke is there, arms wrapped around her friend.

“I’m so sorry.” Clarke murmurs, tears starting to spill down her cheeks. She holds the girl close, feeling her sob against her chest, aching for Octavia, for the loss of someone so special. “I’m so sorry.” She murmurs as she silently swears to get revenge, to make this right.

Raven watches them for a moment, allowing the two friends to bond once more before making her way to them, putting a hand on them both. “Come on, let’s get her inside.” She says softly, wrapping a strong arm around Octavia when the girl all but clings to her.

Clarke nods, keeping a hand on them both for a moment before leading them around the back of the tower. Part of her truly wishes she could take them both up to her room, allow them all to be close once more, but she can’t risk them finding out about Seraph before Lexa is ready to tell their people.

They follow after a few people who are filing into one of the bigger buildings and find Abby and Marcus giving instructions, ushering people in groups of two or three into rooms with their bedrolls and a pack of supplies. Clarke offers Kane a small smile, getting a nod in response before he takes Raven and Octavia to their room.

“Clarke, everything is taken care of now, will you please go rest.” Her mother asks, making Clarke frown. “We’re having a meeting tomorrow morning, Lexa is going to speak with everyone and tell them about what’s happened in Arkadia, you don’t need to keep watching after everyone.”

“But Octavia…” Clarke replies softly, her gaze still focused on the direction her friends had been lead off to. “I can’t just leave her alone, not after everything.”

“She isn’t alone, she has Raven.” Abby cuts her off, brows raised. “If anyone knows what Octavia is going through its her, so please go rest.”

The comment feels like a slap to a face, an ache seeming to radiate through her chest as she turns on her heel, bolting from the building. Her mother could be blunt at times, but this felt different, felt as though Abby was still blaming her for everything that had happened in the time they had been on the ground.

She doesn’t feel the tears on her cheeks, nor the pain throbbing through her side until she’s amongst the trees, engulfed by darkness as she stumbles. Her knees hit the ground with a soft thud, her body folding in on itself as her mind plays flashes of that night, like a sick movie running on repeat.

_Finn tied to the post, the grounders demanding blood for blood, she knows what he’ll go through if the grounders have their way. She can’t let him suffer. She loved him, he trusted her and she stuck the knife into his heart. Princess, Princess, Princess. Clarke, Clarke, Clarke._

“Clarke!” Lexa’s voice rings through the air, startling the blonde enough for the flashes to stop, saving her the torture of watching Finn die over and over again. “Clarke!” There’s the voice again, crying her name out into the darkness.

“I’m over here.” She tries to yell, but she’s not even sure she’s spoken. “Lexa, I’m over here!” She tries again, her lips moving whether or not sound is coming out is beyond her. Her body feels numb, images of Finn’s blood on her hands burned into the back of her eyelids.

She can hear footsteps and she registers warm hands on her arm and neck before resting against her cheeks. “Clarke, what’s happened?” Lexa’s warm voice washes over her, blue eyes registering the dim outline of the Commander’s face inches from her. “ _Niron,_ please say something.”

Clarke shakes her head squeezing her eyes tight as more tears spill down her cheeks, hands balling into fists hard enough for nails to dig into palms. She can’t look at Lexa, not when she feels like this, when she knows what happens to people who get close to her.

“Clarke, look at me, it’s okay.” Lexa’s voice is soft and her touch even more so as she rests her forehead against the blonde’s holding her still. “I’ve got you, just look at me.”

Eyelids flutter open and suddenly the earth and the sky meet, a stillness settling in the cool air. Clarke’s heartbeat pulses in her ears as she stares into Lexa’s eyes, her breathing starting to calm as she gets lost in the Commander’s very soul.

She’s unsure how long they’ve laid like this, just gazing into each other’s eyes, but she can feel Clarke relax under her. “I love you, Clarke.” She murmurs, brushing their lips together just slightly.

Clarke manages a small smile, kissing Lexa gently before replying in hushed tones. “ _Ai hod yu in seintaim.”_ She reaches a hand up and brushes cool fingers against warm skin. “We should get back before people worry more.”

“You are with me; they should not worry.” Lexa chuckles softly but pushes herself off of Clarke before offering the blonde a hand. She hauls the girl up from the ground before brushing them both off, smiling when Clarke smacks her hands away.

“I am not a child.” She teases, shaking her head while brushing the last of the dirt from her pants. “Besides, you’ll have plenty of time to put your hands on me when we get back.” Clarke smirks, watching Lexa blink at her before clearing her throat.

“Let’s get back.” Lexa says as she walks to the extinguished torch she had dropped upon finding Clarke. She hands it to the blonde before taking out a small pack, it contains a small vial of oil, flint and striking steel.

Clarke watches her pour the oil on the end of the torch, placing the empty vial back in the pouch before striking the flint and steel a few times. After a moment or two, a spark catches, setting the torch alight once more. Lexa takes it back from the blonde, holding it in one hand, offering Clarke the other.

The walk back takes far longer than Clarke thought it would, unaware she had traveled such distance when she had run from her mother, from her past. “Thank you.” She finds herself saying, squeezing Lexa’s hand gently as the words slip from her lips.

“You don’t have to thank me, I care about you Clarke, I will always come running when you need me.” Lexa assures her, offering her a warm smile as they enter the capital once again. They city seemed so much calmer at night, the hustle and bustle replaced with empty streets, most dwellings as dark as the night, the only source of light coming from the bright flame atop the Polis tower.

Clarke is unsure of how to respond, so opts to stay quiet as they reach the large structure, smiling slightly as she walks through the doors with Lexa at her side. It was so unusual, feeling this calm, this real. “Should we go see the children before bed?” She asks finally as they reach their floor, glancing at the door down the hall from Lexa’s room.

Lexa nods slightly, heading to what was Clarke’s quarters at time, the guard still standing his post firmly. He seems to wince slightly as Lexa walks by and Clarke assumes it is because he allowed her to leave earlier that night.  The Commander pushes open the door gently, smiling to herself at the scene before her.

Seraph and Aden lay on the large bed, both sleeping soundly, the boy sprawled across the furs with the girl curled up into his side. “They could be siblings.” Clarke murmurs, watching the two children sleep for a moment before glancing at Lexa.

The Commander just nods before moving to cover the children, knowing how cold the tower could get at night. She watches them for a moment longer before returning to the door, motioning for Clarke to do the same.

It isn’t until they are back in Lexa’s chambers that Clarke asks the question that had been burning in her mind since she had found out about Seraph. “Why did you keep her a secret from your people? Wouldn’t they have been able to help you protect her?” She murmurs as she settles on the edge of the bed.

Lexa takes her time thinking about the answer as she undresses, changing into a black night dress, smoothing the material down her body before grabbing a similarly made gown for Clarke. She hands the aquamarine material to Clarke before settling on the other side of the bed.

“From a young age, I was taught that showing emotion, especially love, was to show weakness. The Commander before me kept me safe during my pregnancy and told me that if I were to let the people know of my child, I would be giving them and any enemy a hold over me.” Lexa says softly, her eyes trained on her hands.

“Seraph has always been my one true weakness, if anyone had known about her, they could have easily used her to manipulate me, there is nothing I won’t do to keep my daughter safe.” Lexa takes a slow breath, shaking her head slightly. “I know now that love is not weakness, but people could still use her against me, they’re already trying…I can’t risk her getting hurt Clarke.”

Clarke nods softly, running her fingers over the silky material still bunched in her hands, she had yet to move. “Lexa, times have changed, sure this war is coming and Seraph could be put into danger, but we gain nothing by keeping her a secret, at least if they knew we could have more people to protect her.”

Lexa sighs softly, running a hand through her hair as she watches the blonde get off the bed. “Clarke, I just…I’m scared.”

“I know you are, I am too.” Clarke offers her a slight smile, biting the inside of her cheek. “But I truly think that you should consider telling them about her.” She nods a bit before starting to undress.

Lexa is quiet as she watches Clarke, frowning as her eyes travel the healing wounds that cover pale skin. “I will think about it, for now let us sleep?” She asks, averting her eyes back to her lap.

Clarke pulls the night dress over her head, with a little difficulty, but manages it after a moment. “Thank you.” She says for what feels like the millionth time since she had first stepped foot back in the capital.

Lexa just nods, patting the space next to her as Clarke smiles slightly, extinguishing the candles in the room before climbing into the bed. She scoots close to the Commander without thinking, blushing slightly when Lexa wraps an arm around her gently, kissing the top of her head.

“What a day…” Clarke mutters, unsure of what she should be doing as she rest her head on Lexa’s chest, and arm draped over her stomach.

“Go to sleep, Clarke.” Lexa yawns, pulling her close with a gentle tug.

Clarke nods slightly, cuddling into the warm body next to her until she was comfortable enough to close her eyes, allowing the steady heartbeat of the woman next to her lull her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to post this so I'm so sorry for the typos I'm sure are there, but I really wanted to get this updated and I hope you all like the fic. If you ever wanna talk about this or any of my works you can find me at allysondark.tumblr.com  
> Thank you so much for you support on this story, it means so much.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you like shitty filler chapters, you've come to the right place! I'm finally getting back in the groove of this story and like all the other chapters of this, it's unedited. I'm so sorry.

The next few days seem to blur by, between meetings with Skaikru and trying to keep as much of the coalition together as possible, Lexa is exhausted and anxious and for the first time in a long time, she truly fears for the livelihood of her people. She’s lost more of Azgeda than she had originally thought she would add that to a good fourth of the Plains Riders and almost half of Shallow Valley, it leaves her a little shaken.

She knew of course there would be treason amongst her people but she had been sure it would just be with the northern clan. With a heavy heart, she calls upon the leaders of the twelve clans once more, knowing she must inspire them to fight alongside her, to protect their way of life.

“Heda, Wan-Clarke wants to see you,” Aden stammers as he sticks his head into the throne room, watching his Commander pacing the area.

“Let her in,” Lexa replies, pausing mid stride to straighten up, arms behind her back as the blonde walks into the room. She’s holding a small box and wearing a smile that lights up the room and the Commander can’t help but smile as well. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Clarke just smiles wider, opening the lid of the box to reveal a hot meal, holding it out to the woman. “I know for a fact you haven’t eaten today, the meeting is later today and you need your strength,” The girl says, a smirk on her lips.

Lexa opens her mouth to argue but then azure eyes are fixing her with a glare and she lets out a soft sigh. “Fine, I will eat, but only because you’re terrifying when you do that…you look just like your mother.”

 Clarke rolls her eyes at the woman, setting the meal down on the arm of Lexa’s throne before she moves to sit on the floor next to it, humming looking up at the leader expectantly. Lexa just deadpans at the blonde before sighing, sitting on the throne, pulling the food into her lap. She makes herself eat warm meat and vegetables that are on the plate to please the sky girl, before putting everything back into the box Clarke had brought it in.

“Pleased with yourself?” She asks the blonde as she sits next to her on the ground, brows raised.

Clarke nods in response, nudging the commander with her shoulder. “Very, now, the real reason I came to visit you,” She says seriously, turning so she can look at the woman next to her. “I want to be at the meeting with you.”

Lexa’s brow furrows slightly as she studies Clarke’s face, finding nothing but stubborn determination. “It may not be safe, you’ve suffered so much during your weeks here, I do not think I could bear to see you get hurt again,” She replies softly, her lips tilting downward.

The blonde lets out a soft snort, running a hand through her hair as she shifts, fully facing the commander. “Lexa, everything that has happened in the last few weeks, it’s happened for a reason and I know that sounds convoluted, but think about it, if I hadn’t been with you that day in the throne room, you would probably be dead and Nia would be in control of the clans,” Clarke says softly, shaking her head a bit.

“I’ve been hurt far worse before and I would much rather be by your side and you not need me, than for you to need me and not be there,” The blonde finishes, reaching to take Lexa’s hand in her own, fingers tracing over tanned skin.

Lexa is quiet for a moment, knowing in her heart that there is no way Clarke will agree to stay in her quarter and instead of arguing she just nods, moving so their foreheads are pressed together. “Alright, you can be at the meeting, but I want you right next to me, I want you to be where you’re safest.”

Clarke smiles despite herself, brushing their lips together for the briefest moment before she responds, “Yes, Commander,” She teases, though there is a seriousness in her tone that soothes the worry in Lexa’s chest.

“Go and get ready, you’ll want to wear your armor and war paint,” Lexa says softly as she pulls away from the sky girl. “I would also like Octavia to attend the meeting as well, I know your mother and Kane are but I would much rather have another fighter in the room, just in case.”

Clarke nods, pushing herself up and off the floor, smiling at the action. Her body no longer protests at movement, her wounds are healed and on their way to becoming scars; reminders to be stronger, faster, smarter. “I’ll go talk to her,” She murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Lexa’s head.

Lexa watches with a soft smile as the blonde exits the room and she finds that she no longer feels anxious about the meeting, about the future.

~~

Clarke’s trip down to the Skaikru quarters takes a little longer than she had expected, having been stopped by both her mother and one of the tower healers on the way down. She assures they both that she is fine before making her escape, smiling when the sun finally hits her face. She waves to a few of the passing Grounders that she recognizes, nodding her head toward the ones she doesn’t until she’s around the back of the building, dead sprinting toward the building her friends are in.

It takes a moment for her to find the room that they’re in, but when she comes to the partially ajar door, she pauses, unsure of herself even as she knocks on the wood. There’s a creak of old wood as one of the women pushes up and off the bed and after a few seconds, Raven is pulling the door open fully, brows raised at the blonde.

“Clarke, I’m surprised to see you, figured you were still being held hostage by Abby and the Commander,” Raven says, stepping away to allow Clarke to enter.

“Well, I’m healed enough that I can move around without pain so I argued with them until they let me be,” Clarke replies, fidgeting off to the side as Raven settles back down on one of the mattresses next to Octavia. “But uhm…I actually came here to see O.”

The young woman looks up at her, oceanic eyes seeming glazed over, as though she’s looking through Clarke instead of at her. “Why’s that?” She asks, her voice sounding rough, like it was the first time she had spoken in days.

The blonde bites her lip, suddenly nervous about the news she must bring. “Le-The Commander would like you to accompany us to the council meeting this afternoon, we want to present as a united front,” Clarke manages to say, sounding far more confident than she feels.

Octavia studies her for a moment, eyes flickering toward the brunette next to her, as if asking her permission. “I’ll go, but I want Raven to be there too, she’s the mad scientist after all,” She finally answers, mouth set in a hard line that makes Clarke’s heart hurt more than it should.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Clarke answers far quicker than is necessary, nodding a bit. “It’ll be in about two hours, you uh…should wear your armor and war paint, I guess it’s tradition.”

O just nods at her, leaning her head back against the wall, eyes glued to the ceiling. “I’ll see if I can borrow something for Raven from Indra,” she says offhandedly, her shoulder brushing against the Latina’s arm.  

Clarke frowns a bit, wondering if the girl had even been through the city since they had come the week before. “O, Indra won’t be back for another few days, she left a little over a week ago, to head north on a mission, but I have something Raven could wear...”

Octavia sits up straight, a deep frown on her features as she looks at the blonde. “Wait, she’s not here?” She asks, her voice going up about an octave. “She doesn’t know…” The words are barely above a whisper, as though the air has been knocked from her lungs.

“I-I’m sorry…” Clarke murmurs reaching out to Octavia out of instinct, only to have the younger girl flinch into Raven’s side. She swallows hard, nodding just slightly. “Right…I’m going to go,” She says, trying to keep her voice even as she steps back.

She’s out the door before anyone can say much of anything and it feels like her heart is in a vice. This is her fault after all, if she had just left with Octavia…if she had just listened, maybe she could have saved Lincoln, saved the girl this pain.

It’s too late for what ifs she tells herself as makes the journey back to her quarters in the tower, her mind zeroed in on the task at hand. Get ready, look presentable, support Lexa. That was her goal for this afternoon, and if she could manage it, maybe she could go to bed that night with a little less weight on her shoulders.

Getting ready proves to be the easy part, only interrupted when Raven comes to borrow clothes and even that is so brief she wonders if it truly counts as an interruption. She tries not to be hurt by the chasteness of it all and instead focuses on what they’ll be going over the meeting. Loyalty, plans and weeding out those who may be traders.

Her two hours seems to slip by faster than any time in her life and even though she feels confident in her leader, she fails to find it in herself. “Fake it until you make it,” Clarke murmurs the phrase her father had picked up from an ancient broadcast he had found on the Ark. So, she enters the great hall with her head high, shoulders drawn back, spine straight.

All eyes are on her for a moment as she joins Lexa at the head of the table, a smaller throne sitting next to Lexa’s own ornate one. She nods to the Commander, bowing slightly before she sits. “Heda,” She murmurs softly out of respect, doing her best to make sure she’s following customs.

The other members of Skaikru show up momentarily and the meeting begins and Clarke finds it’s not as bad as the rumors had made it out to seem. Most of the leaders agree with Lexa’s plan of attack, though some argue that the members of Skaikru cannot be trusted in the battle and should stay out.

“If there being here does not prove their loyalty, what will?” Lexa ask the counsel, brows raised at the leaders that surround the table.  

There is a thick silence surrounding them as the various clan leaders ponder an appropriate way to show the Skaikru’s solidarity. “Join Trikru and Skaikru,” Roan suggests finally, all eyes moving toward the man. “A union between yourself and the leader of the Sky People.”

Lexa opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted but Abby who stands, hand slamming against the table. “That is preposterous, she cannot marry Marcus,” She hisses the words out, anger clear on her face as a few of the other leaders start to chuckle.

“You misunderstand me, healer, I am speaking of a union between Heda and Wanheda, surely you do not believe any of us see _him_ as a leader,” Roan corrects, a slight smirk on his lips. “Wanheda has learned our culture, has even adapted to our way of life, what has he done other than try to create half thought out plans of ‘peace’ between us?”

Abby starts to retort, but is silenced by Kane’s hand on her shoulder. There is a silent exchange, one that does not go unnoticed, but the silence is filled by Wanheda herself, who clears her throat as she stands.

“While I believe a union of the clans is a very clever idea, I do not think this is the time, we are in the middle of a war, perhaps once the threat is gone and we have peace amongst our people, then we can bring this matter to light,” The words leave her mouth much more eloquently than they ever seemed they would in her mind and she is proud of the compromise she’s come up with, despite the anxiety building in her chest at the idea of marrying Lexa.

Surely, she loves the Commander, but she is merely 19 and the idea of that sort of commitment is still terrifying to her. “I agree with Wanheda.” Lexa speaks, sparing Clarke from any sort of questions that the leaders may have.

Once the decision is made, there are less arguments when it comes to planning and as the meeting ends Lexa stands, calling for them all to stay seated. “I’m sorry for the delay, I am aware you all have families to take care of, people to watch after, however I have something I have been meaning to tell everyone for quite a long time,” Lexa begins, glancing to Clarke for a moment, earning a confused smile from the blonde.

She takes a deep breath, calling for Aden in clipped Trigedasleng. The boy appears almost out of thin air, a small brunette in tow. Clarke’s eyes widen as the boy brings her over to the Commander who lifts her into her arms, allowing the girl to cling to her. “This is Seraph…my daughter.”

There is a collective gasp from the members in the room and Clarke rushes to stand, fingers twitching; ready to defend the two next to her. She finds her rashness unnecessary as most of the clans-people just stare at the sight.

“She is the reason they are going to march on Polis, I sent my best to the north as decoys but I fear that if I do not share this secret with those I trust; it will be my downfall and I do not wish to lose my only child due to my lack of confidence in my people.” Lexa explains, eyes scanning the room as her child stays still in her arms, knowing when to behave.

“If any of you has issue with this or plans to use my daughter against me, do so now, or suffer a fate far worse than death,” Her voice is cold as ice as her arms tighten around the girl in her arms, but she finds no resistance, seemingly no ill wishes toward them and nods despite herself. “Very well, you are all dismissed.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In true HLK fashion, this chapter is unedited, short, a little shitty and very, very late.

The room empties rather quickly until the only ones left are Clarke, Lexa, Raven and Octavia. Aden had gone back to Clarke’s chambers with Seraph and judging by the anger on O’s face, it now seems like the best option. “Octavia...” Clarke murmurs, knowing the younger girl is angry that Clarke lied about Lexa’s daughter. 

“ _ Shut up,”  _ Octavia growls, stalking toward the blonde. “You lied to me, straight to my face!” She yells and Clarke has to shoot Lexa a look so the leader won’t interfere. This was a matter that the two sky girls needed to sort themselves. 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke says softly, not even flinching when Octavia grabs her by the front of her armor, slamming her into the wall behind them. “It wasn’t my secret to tell, if you want to be upset with me, so be it, but I don’t regret my decision.” 

Her words don’t seem to soothe the anger in those dark eyes, but the younger girl does let go of Clarke, taking a step back. “What kind of person are you? Choosing a cold hearted bitch over your friends, your family.”  

“You have no room to talk to me about choosing someone over family!” Clarke yells back, her eyes narrowing as she takes a step forward into Octavia’s space. “I defended you when all you could think about was helping Lincoln. I defended you when we were dying and you wanted to save him. And I would do it again, in a heartbeat, so don’t you accuse me of something you did too.” 

Clarke feels hollow after her outburst, her eyes cutting from Octavia to Raven before she’s shoving passed the brunette and out into the hall. She understands O’s anger, she really does, but she can’t handle the look that came with it. Octavia decided to be a Grounder long before Clarke had, so why was she the enemy now?

She doesn’t stop moving until she’s reached her chambers, her anxiety being replaced by warmth as she walks into the room. Aden is curled up on the bed, watching Seraph dance around the room. “Well, this is just adorable,” Clarke chuckles, causing both children to whip their heads toward her. 

“Clarke!” Seraph shouts, running over to jump into the blonde’s arms. “Is everything okay? You look kind of sad,” The little one asks, reaching up to press her fingers to the middle of Clarke’s forehead. “You have the same wrinkle mother gets when she’s upset,” 

Clarke smiles at that, hugging the child tightly for a moment before setting her down. “I’ll be okay,” She murmurs, moving to sit on the end of the bed. “Why don’t you show me that dance you were doing?” 

Seraph grins before going back to the center of the room to dance around, leaving Clarke to relax without the gaze of the child on her. “Aden, would you mind helping me get this armor off?” She asks the boy, turning to offer him a slight smile. 

He nods and they get to work, dressing Clarke down to the tunic under her ceremonial look. She excuses herself to grab some normal clothes from her wardrobe and heads to the bathing room to change. 

She's in the middle of pulling on her shirt when she hears the door to the room open and close. Clarke doesn’t have to look to know it’s Lexa. She turns only when she’s fully dressed, afraid to see what emotions might be written across the older girl’s face. 

“Are you alright?” Lexa murmurs softly, giving Clarke her space while the blonde washes off the face paint still smeared across her cheekbones. 

“I’ll be fine,” Clarke replies, sighing softly as she leans against the water basin. “I’m more frustrated than anything, but I think it’ll blow over...hopefully.” 

“Perhaps,” Lexa pauses, shifting closer to the blonde. “But, I may have helped to relieve some of the tension from the situation,” She says, resting a gentle hand between Clarke’s shoulder blades. 

Clarke lets out a soft sigh, her head hanging low. “And how would you have managed that?” She asks, softly trying to stamp down the anxiety bubbling in her chest. 

“I have offered her Lincoln’s position in my command which of course, comes with his previous quarters. I assume she would like to go through his personal effects, perhaps it will bring her some closure.”  Lexa replies softly, taking a step back when Clarke turns to face her. 

“That is very kind of you, I’m not sure she’ll take his position but I’m sure she’ll appreciate having a place that once belonged to him,” Clarke says softly, stepping onto her toes to press a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. 

Lexa smile softly at that, sliding her arms around Clarke slowly. “Everything will be okay,” Lexa murmurs, pressing their foreheads together, just to stare into those crystal blue eyes. “Would you like to stay here with the children for a while to relax?” 

“Are you not staying?” Clarke find herself asking, her fingers tracing shapes along Lexa’s sides. 

“I have a few things to take care of before I can retire for the night,” Lexa replies, brushing their noses together. “And then I will be all yours.” 

Clarke smiles a bit, kissing Lexa softly. “Okay, Commander,” she whispers, noting how Lexa’s breath hitches at her  tone. “Don’t keep me waiting too long,” Clarke smirks, pulling away from the woman to head back to the children. 

Lexa lets out a barely audible huff of frustration before she’s back to cool and collected, trying to ignore the buzzing in her chest and the heat pooling in her belly. “I will be back soon. Seraph, please do not stay up too late.” 

“Yes mother!” Seraph calls from her spot on the floor where she plays with a few wooden toys. 

Clarke smiles slightly, watching Lexa stride over to place a kiss on her daughter’s head before she’s heading out the door. “She’s something else,” she murmurs to herself, shaking her head a bit. 

“Clarke, will you tell me a story?” Seraph asks, barely looking up from her toys. “One from your people?” 

Clarke smiles a bit, nodding as she moves over to the bed. “Why don’t you get ready for bed and I’ll tell you and Aden my favorite story?” She says, settling with her back against the pile of pillows. 

Seraph nods, running over to a small trunk to pull out a nightshirt before disappearing into the bathroom. “You should change into something more comfortable too,” Clarke murmurs to Aden, who is still wearing his usual padded armor. 

Aden glances down at his clothes before looking at Clarke with a furrowed brow. “I am comfortable,” he responds, sounding so much like Lexa it makes Clarke smile. 

“You shouldn’t lie,” Clarke teases, shaking her head a bit. “I will not harm you and should anyone come in here, I have no doubt that you and I could fight them off, armor or no armor.” 

Clarke’s healing wounds ache at the thought of another fight, but she keeps her gaze leveled on the boy until he deflates a little, relenting to the blonde’s wishes. He takes his armor off, leaving him in his jeans and a linen shirt. 

“Happy?” He says, brows raised in surprise at his tone. “I-I’m sorry, I spoke out of turn.”

Clarke’s laugh echoes through the room, patting the space next to her. “Don’t apologize for acting your age. I’m pretty impressed,” 

Aden’s cheeks burn red as he moves to sit next to Clarke, his hands in his lap. “It is not becoming for me to act as such. I could be Heda one day, I must not show weakness.” 

“It is not weakness,” Clarke says, her tone firm as she puts an arm around him, hugging him to her side. “You can be a great leader and still have fun, I promise you.” 

The moment is interrupted by Seraph all but running from the bathroom, launching herself onto the bed with a grin. “I am ready to hear your story, Clarke.” 

The blonde chuckles softly as Seraph curls up on her otherside, all but burrowing into Clarke’s side, a hopeful look in her eyes. Warmth floods through Clarke as she glances from Seraph to Aden, finding the boy looking just as hopeful. “Alright, tonight we will start the tale of a young wizard named Harry Potter.” 

And so Clarke spent the next hour recalling the fictional story of the boy who lived under the stairs, the story Jake had recounted for her as a child. “Harry now carried a large cage with a beautiful snowy owl fast asleep, her head tucked under her wing.” Clarke started, eyes flickering up to the door as Lexa walked in. 

“How are you going to be able to move?” Lexa asks quietly, a soft smile on her features as Clarke’s brow furrows. 

The blonde finally looks to the two children she had been entertaining, only to find them both fast asleep. “I didn’t even realize they had fallen asleep,” she admits, carefully withdrawing her arm from Aden’s shoulders. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Aden fall asleep in anyone presence,” Lexa murmurs, helping Clarke pull away from Seraph, who was gripping a fistful of Clarke’s tunic tightly. 

“He deserves to feel like a child every once in a while,” Clarke whispers once she’s off of the bed.

Lexa doesn’t answer and instead busies herself with helping Clarke tuck the two in. Once they were sure that the children would sleep soundly, they took their leave, only pausing when Lexa barked out orders to the guards to keep the room secure. 

“I’m sorry this has been a stressful day,” Lexa murmurs once they’re in her chambers, Clarke already heading to the bed. 

“It’s not your fault,” Clarke snorts, sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at Lexa. 

“Perhaps not all of it was, but I made you keep Seraph a secret, made you lie to your people,” Lexa says softly, undressing slowly. “For that, I apologize.” 

Clarke shakes her head, watching the brunette undress. “If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t change a thing, Seraph needs to be protected,” she replies, biting her lip as she stands up again. “Let me help.”

Lexa stiffens for a moment, her muscles sagging a bit once Clarke’s hands were on her, undoing the buckles on her armor. “You don’t have to,” she murmurs, receiving an eye roll as a response as her shoulder plate is removed. 

“I want to,” Clarke breathes out, making fast work of the warriors stiff outer wear, leaving Lexa in only her under shirt and jeans. She can’t help but slide her hands along Lexa’s sides, tilting her head up to look into those brilliant green eyes. 

Clarke could stare into those eyes for hours and she had planned on it, until there was a violent banging against their chamber door, the frantic voice of one Octavia Blake ringing through the air. “Pike’s taken Raven!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite sometime, huh? Things this year have been a bit crazy and I appreciate everyone's patience when it comes to this story. I'll be doing my best to keep up with it better in the coming year. I would say this story is close to half way done and I'm hoping that the next chapter will be much better than this one. I wasn't really sure how to end this chapter without info dumping or ending with a sex scene that might not make a whole lot of sense, so, I promise to do better next time. 
> 
> Also, as a side note, while I appreciate comments and love to hear feedback, I really don't appreciate ones that are just someone saying something like "it's about time you updated" because it's just kind of discouraging. I'm aware I haven't been updating as regularly as I used to, but my life comes first.


	11. Authors note/where we go from here

So, it’s taken me a long time to really decide if I was going to continue with this story and after a lot of venting and some mental arguments, I’ve decided that I want to keep going forward with this. I’ve planned so much of this story in my head and the whole thing came from one dream I had during a thirty minute nap. (Yes I dream about fictional lesbians, don’t you?) This project has been something that I’ve been putting my heart into and I don’t want one negative comment to make me lose sight of where I want this story to go.

 

I have about half of a new chapter written and I’ll be posting it as soon as I’m finished. That being said, this story is mine and mine alone and it is my decision to share it with people and I know it is impossible to cater to everyone and I know some people are going to not like this story, I know some people don’t like certain characters, but they don’t have to read this story. No one is forcing them, I certainly am not. My comment section on here is going to be set to where comments have to be approved before they’re posted because some people don’t seem to understand that the comment section is for constructive criticism and encouragement. And by all means if you have constructive thoughts on how I can improve this, then please tell me, hell message me on tumblr, I love chatting about my works and sharing ideas. What I can’t stand is people complaining about characters they don’t like from the show or how long it takes me to update.

 

Listen, I know it sucks to wait for updates, I read fanfiction too, why do you think I started writing it? The thing is though, is writers can’t always write on a schedule, even the big ones falter sometimes. Real life is far more important than this story and I’m not going to apologize for dealing with my shitty year before trying to write more for this story. And I know, I _know_ not all of you think like that and I appreciate every single one of you who understand, I really truly do, you are amazing. But I still feel like this has to be touched on. I really wish I could post more consistently and trust me, when I get my life together it should hopefully be easier, but until then, bear with me. I can’t always promise that chapters are going to be amazing and wonderful and the huge update you’ve been waiting for, but I can promise this story will be finished at one point or another. And like I said, I know it sucks waiting, I’ve waited literal years for fics to update and when they do it's just this amazing feeling of getting to go and read the new material because that means that even if the writer is dealing with things, they still have a passion for writing their fic.

 

So, please, be patient and be kind and I promise this story with get finished and be everything I want and hope it can be. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and continued to read my work, I can never express how much you all mean to me and to the person who left this [comment](http://agoddamnsupernova.tumblr.com/post/168858711922/its-comments-like-this-that-make-me-never-want-to), I really, really hope you can find a fic you like...and if you can’t, please have the decency to shut the fuck up and leave the writer alone.

 

See you in the next chapter,

 

-Nova


	12. Chapter 12

“It’s all my fault,” Octavia breathes out, her hands wrapped around the cup of hot tea Lexa had made for her. “If I hadn’t run off after our fight, we wouldn’t have been in the woods...” 

“You can’t blame yourself, O,” Clarke murmurs, rubbing soothing circles between Octavia’s shoulders. “Pike did this, no one else is to blame.” 

They had been sitting in Lexa’s quarters for a good hour now, waiting for Octavia to calm down enough to be coherent. They had been in the woods, Raven trying to calm the younger girl, when Pike and a few of his men surrounded them. Octavia did her best to fight off the attackers, only to find that Pike had disappeared with Raven by the time she had dispatched them. 

“We will get her back, Octavia,” Lexa says, speaking for the first time since the story had been told. 

Octavia squeezes the mug in her hands before visibly deflating. “I know I’ve been an ass about this whole situation...and apologizing doesn’t make any of it okay, but I’m sorry for everything I’ve said. I’ve been a hypocrite and even though I’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” she gestures between Clarke and Lexa.

“I’m going to do my best to trust you...both of you,” Octavia says softly, offering Clarke a sad sort of smile. “We have to get her back and you two are my best bet.” 

“I think I’ve died, no way is Octavia Blake being level headed,” Clarke teases, earning a gentle slap to the arm from the younger girl. “Look, I’m sorry too, I should have done more to help you understand things instead of just blowing up at you.” 

“It’s okay, we’ve worked through worse,” Octavia chuckles softly, allowing herself to lean into Clarke. “So, what are we going to do?” 

Lexa leans forward, her elbows on her knees, her face as impassive as ever. “We have two options,” she starts, holding one hand out. “We wait for our scouts to inform us of what is going on and we attack, or,” she holds out the other hand. “We wait and see if Pike decides to use Raven as leverage.” 

“I think we should do a little of both,” Octavia murmurs, biting her lip as she sets the cooling tea on the floor. “You say we have scouts, see if they can find out what’s going on and if kidnapping Raven was intentional or not and if it was, why they need Raven.” 

Lexa looks a bit surprised at the younger woman’s reply, though she quickly schools her features once more. “That is a very intelligent plan.” 

“Lincoln taught me a lot about being patient in war,” O comments, the sadness returning to her eyes. 

“He was one of my best,” Lexa replies, frowning slightly. “I know I have expressed my condolences before, but I truly am sorry that he is gone. I wish I could have done more, could do more, but the past is the past and the best way to honor his memory, is to keep moving forward. Remember him, but do not dwell on the dark parts of your time together, it will only serve to darken your heart. Use him as a reason to fight, as a reason to live.” 

Octavia sniffs slightly, raising her chin, a fire in her eyes. “Thank you,” she murmurs, her eyes meeting Lexa’s for the first time in months, hatred replaced by determination. 

Lexa nods, shifting to sit up straight, her eyes flickering toward Clarke, only to find the blonde was staring at her, eyes full of love and pride. She clears her throat, turning her attention back to Octavia. “I can have quarters made up for you here, if you would like and I will send a runner to alert the scouts to our plan.” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll just sleep with the rest of my p-” she trails off, shaking her head. “I’ll just go back to the room Raven and I were sharing, I think it’ll help me...being with her things.” 

“Send for me if you need me, okay?” Clarke says softly, standing when Octavia does. There’s a brief moment of awkwardness between the two sky people, both unsure of what to do with themselves before Clarke is pulling Octavia into a tight hug. 

“Don’t you go soft on me now, Princess,” Octavia murmurs into Clarke’s shoulder, squeezing the blonde gently. “I missed you...” she whispers, her voice cracking ever so slightly. 

“I missed you too,” Clarke says softly, pulling away from the younger girl to offer a tearful smile. “I’ve got you, okay?” 

Octavia nods at that, wiping her eyes before offering Lexa that same nod and a slight smile before she’s making her way toward the doors. “Oh and Lexa, you better keep Clarke safe...or I’ll have to kick your ass,” she says before disappearing through the door, letting it close firmly behind her. 

“Well then,” Lexa snorts, running a hand through her hair. “That was...unexpected.” 

“She’s trying,” Clarke says softly, moving to smooth her hands over Lexa’s shoulders. “This has all been a lot, I understand why she’s been acting the way she has.” 

“It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but I understand at least,” Clarke hums, leaning her head between Lexa’s shoulder blades. 

“It’ll be alright,” Lexa murmurs, stilling so they can stay like that for a moment, just existing before she has to act as a leader once more. “I need to send a runner out and then I will come to bed, okay?” 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting,” Clarke hums, standing on her toes to press a kiss to Lexa’s lips before she heads to their bed, watching Lexa leave. 

Morning comes faster than Clarke would like, the sunlight streaming through the window serving as a reminder that she had fallen asleep before Lexa had returned. Lexa, who was warm and solid behind her, her soft snoring bring a smile to Clarke’s face. 

Clarke takes a moment to indulge in the moment, rolling over carefully to see Lexa’s sleeping face. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, her face free of war paint and the lines brought on by stress.

“I love you,” Clarke finds herself whispering as her eyes wander along Lexa’s features. It wasn’t the first time she had said it outloud, but it felt different when said in the quiet hours of the morning. 

“And I love you,” Lexa mumbles softly, nuzzling into the pillow before her eyes flutter open. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Clarke snorts at that, brushing their lips together as she slides her arm around the sleepy woman. “You’re the beautiful one here,” she chuckles softly, pressing their foreheads together. 

“We can both be beautiful, Clarke,” Lexa hums, pulling the blonde closer. “Now, kiss me properly before we have to get out of this bed and deal with the real world.” 

Clarke smiles at that, bumping their noses together before she’s pressing their lips together. The sound Lexa makes has Clarke’s stomach doing flips, her cheeks warming as Lexa nips at her lower lip.

“Mm, thank you,” Lexa smirks as she pulls away, knowing just how much she got under Clarke’s skin. “But alas, our duty awaits.” She says, pushing herself out of bed, leaving Clarke staring after her. 

“You’re so rude!” Clarke huffs out, slapping the bedding before shoving herself out of it. “Cocky son of a bitch.” All she gets in response is the sound Lexa’s hearty laughter as she prepares for the day. 

Clarke pouts to herself while she gets ready herself, knowing she won’t get any kind of relief while there are things to be done. She grumbles the whole way down to the base of the tower until she realizes where they’re headed. “Are we going to see Octavia?” 

“Yes and no,” Lexa responds, her eyes flickering around the city. “I wish to speak with Kane and your mother, I want to see if they know why Pike might have taken Raven.” She says as they step up to the building which has been serving as the Sky People’s quarters. 

Clarke is unsure why, but she’s surprised when Lexa knocks, the commander stepping away from the door with her hands clasped behind her back. “Always the image of patience,” Clarke teases, grinning when Lexa rolls her eyes. 

After a moment, the door swings open to reveal Abby, smoothing her bed head into a ponytail. “Good morning, Lexa, Clarke,” Abby smiles softly, stepping away from the door to let them in. “To what do we owe this pleasant visit?” 

“I’ll assume Octavia hasn’t updated you on Raven’s situation,” Lexa replies, standing awkwardly in the center of the room. 

“What happened to Raven?” Abby asks as Kane enters into the main space, rubbing a hand through his hair. 

“Pike has taken her back to Arkadia and we were hoping you or Kane might know why,” Lexa hums, her eyes flickering between the two adults. 

“Mount Weather, the farm station basically moved in before we found them, they were having Sinclair and Raven work on some electrical issues before Nia and Pike struck up their deal,” Kane explains, letting out a hard sigh. 

“What if they’re planning on using the acid fog again?” Clarke asks, her hands clenching at her sides. “Or worse, use the missiles that are still left.”

“It would make sense, there is far more dangerous tech in that mountain than the Ark ever had and I can’t imagine Sinclair is all that happy to help, but they could use Raven as leverage.” Abby tacks on, shaking her head a bit. 

“I know Sinclair took to Raven when he was mentoring her, but would she really be that useful as leverage to get him to do anything?” Clarke asks, wincing at the implication that raven wasn’t important to the man, she was just trying to see the bigger picture. 

“Clarke...Sinclair is Raven’s father,” Abby replies softly, biting her lip hard. “He and Raven’s mother had an affair but neither could say anything when she ended up pregnant. I only know because I was the attending physician and after the birth Clara, high as a kite, was cooing at Raven, saying she had Sinclair’s eyes.” 

“This could be a problem then,” Clarke breathes out, clenching her fists hard enough for her nails to bite into her palms. 

“I have sent scouts to survey the situation, I want to be as prepared as possible before we plan our attack, I have most of the coalition on my side and I suspect that Roan and a portion of Azgeda will be heading here soon,” Lexa starts, turning on her heel to start pacing the small room.  “The fight will be a hard one and while I do not expect your people to war against their own family, I would like there to be some transparency between all of us. I need all of the information your people can give me that might help us win this.” 

“I can’t speak for everyone, but I think there will be some that will want to fight, myself included,” Marcus replies, reaching out to put a hand on Abby’s shoulder. “He’s hurt too many people I care about, he killed Lincoln, I won’t stand for it.” 

“I’ll go too, I’m not sure how well I can fight, but you’ll need medics,” Abby adds, smoothing her hand over Kane’s. 

“Mom,” Clarke says softly, trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat. “You can’t, I dont know what I would do if I lost you...” 

“If you’re going into battle, then so am I, we’re stronger together,” Abby says, her eyes full of determination as she moves to pull her daughter into hug. 

Clarke returns it a little halfheartedly, her hands still balled into fists, she didn’t want to know how badly her anxiety was getting to her. “I love you, mom,” she whispers into Abby’s shoulder, squeezing her tighter. 

“And I love you, sweetie,” Abby murmurs, pulling away to smile at her daughter. “Now, I think you two should go find Octavia and Marcus and I will talk to the others and see if any of them know what Pike might be up to, okay?”

Clarke nods, looking to Lexa for confirmation before pulling away from her mother completely. “Okay, I’ll find you later.” 

With that, they take their leave, Clarke’s hands relaxing once the door was closed, her palms stinging. “Clarke, you are bleeding,” Lexa says softly, making Clarke jump slightly. 

“It's nothing,” Clarke hums, wiping her palms on her jeans. “It just happens sometimes when I get anxious.” 

Lexa tuts softly, stopping Clarke so she can grab her hands, inspecting the small cuts before brushing her lips against each one. “I’m sorry, I wish I could take the feeling away.” 

Clarke smiles, feeling a little breathless with Lexa’s eyes on her. “You don’t have to apologize, it’s not something that’s easily fixed.” 

“Perhaps not, but I still wish I could take your pain away,” Lexa murmurs, kissing Clarke’s palms once more before letting her hands go, smiling softly. “Come, let us go and find your friend.” 

“She might end up being your friend too, one day,” Clarke hums, reaching out to tangle their fingers together loosely. “I think the reason you two butt heads is because you’re two sides of the same coin.” 

“I’m not sure I see it, would you mind explaining?” Lexa asks, smiling softly at their fingers. 

“You’re both headstrong and passionate, caring and kind,” Clarke murmurs, swinging their hands slowly. “However, you two can also be very ruthless and cold and I think that is all you see in the other.” 

Lexa nods a bit, her brow furrowed in thought as they round the corner to the building Octavia was staying in, only to find the woman in question standing right in front of them. “Oh, wow, hey,” Octavia says, jumping back a step. 

“Good morning, O,” Clarke smiles, offering her free hand to the girl. “Did you sleep at all?” 

Octavia glances at Clarke’s hand and then to the one holding Lexa’s, shrugging a bit before taking it. “Morning. I don’t know that you could call what I did last night sleep, but my eyes were closed at some point.” 

Clarke tugs at Octavia’s arm gently until she moves to stand next to her so they can all walk together. “Well, we have some information,” she says softly, ignoring the looks their trio receives. “We’re going to get her back, I promise.” 

“I know we will,” Octavia replies, squeezing Clarke’s hand. “But, what do we do right now?” 

Clarke and Octavia both look to Lexa who blinks at them, brows raised. “Oh, well, I need to speak with the leaders who are here soon, it shouldn’t take too long and then after that I must speak with Indra, make sure her warriors are ready.” 

“Wait, Indra is back?” Octavia asks, her eyes lighting up. “Where is she?” 

Lexa chuckles softly, shaking her head a bit. “She returned last night, she is with the healers now.” 

“Healers? Is she okay? What happened?” Octavia asks, bringing them all to a halt outside of the tower. 

“Exactly what Clarke predicted would,” Lexa hums, turning to face Octavia properly. “Pike’s men took the bait and ambushed Indra’s group. She is a little worse for wear, but some rest will do her good.” 

“Can I go see her?” Octavia asks, biting her lip as she glances between Lexa and Clarke. “Please?” 

Lexa’s lips twitch slightly, before brushing some loose strands of dark hair behind her ear. “I would say yes, but I know Indra would not want to be seen as weak, however, if you go with Clarke to her quarters and have breakfast, I will go see Indra and ask her if she is ready to see you.” 

Octavia opens her mouth as if to argue, but snaps it shut when Clarke raises a brow at her. “I-well-fine,” she manages, huffing a little as she looks at her feet. The whole thing makes Clarke chuckle and even gets a smile out of Lexa. 

“Alright, then I will see you both later,” Lexa says, brushing her lips against Clarke’s hand before letting it go. “Please stay out of trouble.” 

“Never,” Clarke teases, watching Lexa roll her eyes before she’s walking away. 

“She really loves you, doesn’t she?” Octavia asks, tugging Clarke by the hand to get her to head into the tower. 

“So it seems,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at last, a new chapter and as unedited as ever. As you may have notice I decided to keep the author's note up, I never expected the amount of love I received from all of you, thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Side note: Sinclair being Raven's dad is actually something that Lindsey Morgan headcanoned so, I had to throw that in.


End file.
